The SS Questionairre

by cynergy 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • cynergy
  • cynergy
    cynergy
    Are there any restrictions on your congregational activities from a previous judicial matter?

    Are you a faithful sister in good standing before Jehovah and your congregation?

    Hmmm... they stopped short of asking what specific "sins" potential members have engaged in. Or maybe that comes with the next batch of screening questions.

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    Thanks for providing the link, cynergy.

    My reaction to it is : pur-leeeze!! Do they really think everyone is going to honestly answer those questions? Especially the "restrictions" question! I have no doubt some will tell them what they can do with these personal questions!

    As for "Are you a faithful sister in good standing before Jehovah and your congregation?" - do they want a drs certificate to prove you're a female? How about a photograph? Maybe I should suggest it to them.....

  • Free2Bme
    Free2Bme

    All this to pick up a few recipes?
    I think I'll stick with Delia Smith.

    Incredible!

    Free

  • Stephanus
    Stephanus

    I like the following question:

    What should all Witnesses carry with them in case of an emergency?

    I've got a feeling the answer isn't anything to do with speaking softly and carrying a big stick!

  • cynergy
    cynergy

    LOL, Prisca.

    As a former participant in the "real" JW boards like you, I find their exclusive style to be likened to the worse cliques in the KH. At least in the KH you can be an occasional hour-puter-in or meeting attender and still have people talk to you. It looks like if you do not even meet their standard of perfection on SS you won't qualify to be embraced into their little club. Isn't that sad? Especially if you ARE looking for encouragement and trying to get some association from the "friends"?

    On the other hand, it doesn't surprise me. From what I've gleaned that's the place that the treegirl crowd hang out now. ;) The link is listed publicly on the DMOZ directory, so they are advertising.

    BTW, I found WOL's style of booting you out to be most tactless. But isn't it great to have the freedom 2BU now?

    Cyn

  • NameWithheld
    NameWithheld

    :D I always love these things - here was my application ...

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Date: Monday, June 25, 2001
    Time: 1:29 PM EST

    Submitted to: Sister Soup ( [email protected])

    Subject: Sister Soup Registration Questionnaire

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    required-visitor_name: Juge Rutheford
    required-Preferred username: Da Judge

    required-Username(s) used elsewhere: Da Judge

    required-visitor_email_address: [email protected]

    required-City, State, Country: Heaven

    required-Congregation: The One True

    required-Congregation Location: Heaven

    required-Regularly attend meetings: Jesus has us over for dinner each night

    required- What times do you attend meetings?: Time has no meaning here

    required-Date baptized: June 15, 1912

    required-Are there any congregational restrictions?: Only when I was in jail for preaching

    required-Are you a regular publisher?: I direct all 800 billion hours a year

    required-What should all Witnesses carry with them?: A big stick for beating up Apostates

    required-What book are we studying at bookstudy?: We don't study books here

    required-What is theYeartext for 2001?: We don't have yeartexts here

    required-What is title of this weeks Watchtower study article ?: Since we already have all the 'new light' up here already we don't need WT's

    required-What are the new auxilary and pioneer hours?: New kings & priests must go to Bethel for 2 years to watch for and punish homosexual behaviour - ever since Knorr showed up here

    required-Two books currently being used at the Theocratic Ministry School: See above about the WT's - we already know all the 'new light'

    required-Last article in current Kingdom Ministry?: Stay off the Internet !

    required-Why is being a servant of Jehovah important to you?: When on earth I got to stay in my, oops I mean the mansion I made for Daniel, David, and the judges, but since they didn't show up in 1925 like I said they would I just stayed there anyway. Watching people shiver in my presence was always a hoot. Yelling at people was really fun too. A good cigar and a few beers each night was always nice. Now that I'm running the show up here (I kicked that wacko Pastor Russel out when I got here - can you imagine having that fruitcake running the show? I mean, that whole Pyrimed thing alone, sheesh!) things are going well. I've got 6 million weirdos who jump at my every 'new light' I send. It's fun making them beleive new things, then not beleiving it, then going back to beleiving the same thing again! What fun!

    required-Are you a faithful sister in good standing?: Opps, I'm not one, but I always enjoyed their 'company' if you know what I mean!

    required-How did you find Sister Soup?: Please, I know everything!

    Additional comments: Not really, except that 'Real Soon Now' I'll be down their to kick everyone's ass - unless they think just like me. Which means you better fire up your cigars and start drinking more beer - cause prohabition is a tool of Satan!

  • open_mind
    open_mind

    LOL namewithheld!

    Welcome to the board.

    You are one funny person

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Try submitting this:

    Sister Mary Keeps,
    The Cockwell Inn,
    Tillet,
    Herts.

    Englishman.

    ..... fanaticism masquerading beneath a cloak of reasoned logic.

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