2004 District Convention Spoof Seekers

by ezekiel3 3 Replies latest jw friends

  • ezekiel3
    ezekiel3

    Because of slumping and catatonic attendance, JWs have unveiled a new convention program to attract and entertain their 6 million devotees. This summer's program will be held in themeparks, and unveil the ride Borg Assilimator (seen below). Here in North Carolina, USA a day-pass will get you a normal 3-day program "download" via subliminal messages while you enjoy the thrills of the roller-coaster. The unoffical motto is B-Org a rally cry for "Be the Organization".

    Doctrinal messages are hidden in the revamped lyrics of pop-star previously known as Prince, who has agreed to rewrite previously suggestive songs into a new upbeat soundtrack for JWs worldwide. Even aging babyboomers hum along to "Litte Blue Truth Book" (Little Red Corvette) and "We're gona' party like it's 2035" pumps out from loudspeakers.

    The drama is a half-time show of Superbowl proportions, with an action packed wrestling match between buffed out reinactors of Russel and Rutherford.

    Corridor cruising is encouraged and singles-bars are set up around Visa and PayPoint terminals. With all the changes, JW members comments are generally enthusiastic. "I'm so glad to be part of such a progressive organization!" remarked one JW youth.

  • stillajwexelder
  • trumangirl
    trumangirl

    LOLOL, keep it coming.

    And pushchairs are allowed, and a creche/playcentre for the littlies while mums can get pampered at a salon with massage.

  • lisavegas420
    lisavegas420

    LOL

    I wonder if we should back our own picnic lunch?

    Lisa

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