Good Morning. I am contemplating marriage to a long time Jehovah Witness. I, myself, have no intentions of becoming a JW. I would, however, appreciate knowing how the Jehovah Witness family would look upon our marriage and any children we might have. We are very much in love, and do not feel that different religous beliefs should stand in the way of our being together. I also do not intend on taking him away from practising his religion. He's a wonderful man, and I want him just the way I found him. Thanks for any help you can give to me.
B
NON Jehovah Witness to marry a JW
by inquiringmind 6 Replies latest social relationships
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inquiringmind
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Law
I asked the same situation but im a Non JW man wanting to marry a Jw woman. From what i heard it wont work. The JW elders will not recognize the marrriage and he will most likely be disfellowshiped. Or there will be great pressure to make you join the religion.
Hope it does work out im still going to try and make things work.Law
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esther
Inquiring, even a JW marrying someone who is studying to be a JW is frowned on, so you can imagine how marrying outside the religion is viewed. You won't be able to be married in the JW' Kingdom Hall.
Once you are married, however, there will be a lot of effort put in to converting you. You too, Law. If you do become JWs,you can't just change your mind. You could be considered to have disassociated yourself, or you could be disfellowshipped. Both of these options would lead you to being shunned. They usually call people who leave 'apostates'.
A JW has 5 meetings to attend per week, plus they are expected to do study of the literature and bible, and also, it is expected that the JW will go out preaching for at least 10 hours a month. For the preaching work, there is a meeting first, which takes from anywhere from a quarter of an hour to three quarters of an hour each week, plus the preaching work. It is very time consuming.
Then there is a district convention, for 3 days each year, plus a circuit assembly for 1 day and another circuit assembly lasting 2 days.
You asked about children. The elders will expect your children to be brought up as JWs, and usually will bring pressure to bear to get that done. The children will be expected to attend all meetings.
I hope that answers all your questions, but if you have any more, just ask.
esther
edited because I discovered a mistake
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inquiringmind
Esther,
Thanks for the reply. I appreciate the information you have provided. I must say.....God does NOT "disfellowship" his people, and I just cannot comprehend why any organization, considering itself to be a "religion", feels it can disfellowship people and actually believe that God feels the same way. Looks like I have a lot of work ahead of me......getting my fiance out of the dark and into the light. God Bless and thanks again.
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ZazuWitts
Inquiring Mind,
Well, I want to ask, "Have you spoken of life 'issues' with your JW intended."
What does he tell you about your wedding, surely he knows you two can't be married in his Kingdom Hall. He will also be viewed as 'spiritually weak' for marrying outside the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society. You say he is a long time witness - does he hold a position within his congregation?
Have you discussed how your children will be raised. If you go along with the children being raised as witnesses, are you aware there will be no birthday celebrations for them... No Christmas... no Thanksgiving gathering... No Easter...No Independence Day celebration, no acknowledgement of Mother's Day, Father's day; the list is endless.
They will not be permitted to participate in 'holiday' activities at their school, and also will be discouraged re participation in ANY activities, such as Scouts, sports, 4-H,YM/YWCA, and much, much more. Is this the sort of upbringing you picture for future children?
Sincerely, InquiringMind, you do need to 'inquire' further - and ask your 'intended' about such things.
I'm sure others here will have some additional suggestions/questions for your consideration. So, keep reading and posting your questions.
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SixofNine
Hi Inquiring Mind. I want to be gentle here, because you are a complete innocent in this situation. But you do realize that a Witness who dates a non-witness (or "worldly person"), and still believes in the witness doctrine, is a person with a serious mental problem?
I know that sounds harsh, but I believe it is true. I don't mean they are crazy, but they may drive themselves (and you) that way. The two factors don't add up. One and one don't make two. It is not so much an illness as it is a imbalance, a state of being that DOES NOT WORK.
Think about the beliefs of JW's, and try to reconcile that with a JW being married (or even dating) to a non-jw. See the problem? It isn't like a Catholic being married to a protestant. It is more like Nazi being married to a Jew, lol.
Seriously. Things that should be balanced in his mind, need to be balanced in his mind, are not. I can't personally see how one could ever get away with that for a lifetime. People need to live what they believe.
Please share this with him. I would be very interested in his thoughts.
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Prisca
inquiringmind
The others have given you some good information, and I would suggest you do much more research into the life of a Witness before you commit yourself to this man.
You said this guy was a long-time witness? If so, are his family members witnesses? Have you met the ones that are witnesses yet? If not, why not? I would suggest you should meet them and ask them about life as a witness.
If your boyfriend makes up excuses for why you haven't met them yet, that should send off alarm bells for you. As 6of9 said, he must be living in a world of his own to think that he can marry you and still remain a witness with a good reputation in his congregation.
I'm sorry if you are only getting negatives in reply to your questions, but we have all lived as Witnesses, and know what is involved. I wish you well, and if you like, keep us updated as to how things go!