If Evolutionists used Creationist tactics...

by Tashawaa 5 Replies latest social humour

  • Tashawaa
    Tashawaa

    If Evolutionists
    used
    Creationist tactics:

    • They'd still be teaching Piltdown Man, 60 years after it was proven as a hoax.
    • They'd never have re-examined Nebraska Man, and would be teaching it now.
    • They'd write their own interpretation of Genesis, and then point out the holes in it.
    • They'd buy (or just make up) bogus theology degrees and discredit religion.
    • They'd use snake oil salesman tactics to make their debates more entertaining for audiences.
    • The audiences would be biology and paleontology majors bussed in and psyched up beforehand.
    • They'd use pseudo science to appeal to the masses.
    • They'd demand Christian churches spend equal time teaching a pantheistic tradition, to allow for fair and even consideration among the congregation.
    • They'd stop teaching evolution and just attack Creationism.
    • They'd misquote Creationist literature to make it seem stupid and contradictory...well, no, actually, they accomplish that NOW, by directly quoting.
    • They'd mispele a lot of wrds, AND WRIET WITH CAPLOCKS ALL THE THYME!
    • You couldn't get a science degree without signing a statement of evolution.
    • Research results would have to match
    • You could win half a million dollars by keeping 500,000 animals in an for one year.
    • They'd picket ' ' with signs showing which animals weren't from the Jurassic.
    • They'd refuse to donate money to museums, and then complain about how their donations were being wasted on misinformation exhibits.
    • They'd print little comic books about evolutionary theory and litter them around playgrounds and Sunday School classrooms.
    • They'd count all the different religions, even ones with no followers alive today, and say that there are hundreds of competing theories on Creation, Salvation and the Afterlife, as if that would discredit any individual religions.

    • You could earn a million dollars by invoking ANY deity and having he/she/it create life, in lab conditions, subject to certain restrictions:
    1. only atheists allowed within laboratory
    2. no pantheistic traditions
    3. no holy materials
    4. no sacrifices
    5. no rituals, except any ritual common to ALL religious traditions that have a creation myth
    6. miracles and holy presences count only if proven to be an incontrovertible manifestation of God, not possible instance of psychic or illusionist ability
    7. must conform perfectly to a manifestation previously recorded in scripture
    8. scripture to be submitted beforehand
    9. Invocation will be determined to be fraudulent (in intent or in result) if:
    10. Created life perfectly matches a life form currently living on Earth (copying is not creating)
    11. Invoker is suspected of being possessed
    12. Invokee is without physical form
    13. Invoker holds a position of authority within the religious community
    14. Invoker is on record has having been abducted by a UFO
    15. Invocation can be reproduced, in part or in whole, by a stage magician with sufficient preparation
    16. Created life completely different from known 'kinds' (impossible to accurately evaluate 'new' life forms)
    • Evidence deemed to be convincing will be forwarded to unspecified 'scientists.' They will determine the factualness of the evidence, and it's impact on current evolutionary theory.
  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    brilliant ! thankyou for that

  • Robert_V_Frazier
    Robert_V_Frazier

    What do you mean, "If?" They use nearly all of those tactics right now, and worse.

    • They'd still be teaching Piltdown Man, 60 years after it was proven as a hoax.

    Still teaching the peppered moth "proof", long after that's been proven a hoax.

    • They'd never have re-examined Nebraska Man, and would be teaching it now.

    Still teaching you can make a giraffe by selective breeding of short-legged and short-necked animals.

    • They'd write their own interpretation of Genesis, and then point out the holes in it.

    Read Asimov's Bible commentary.

    • They'd buy (or just make up) bogus theology degrees and discredit religion.

    Okay, not too much of that. They prefer made-up or bogus biology degrees, earned without doing any research.

    • They'd use snake oil salesman tactics to make their debates more entertaining for audiences.

    Yep, they do that now.

    • The audiences would be biology and paleontology majors bussed in and psyched up beforehand.

    Standard procedure.

    • They'd use pseudo science to appeal to the masses.

    What else have they got?

    • They'd demand Christian churches spend equal time teaching a pantheistic tradition, to allow for fair and even consideration among the congregation.

    This one they haven't thought of yet, as far as I know.

    • They'd stop teaching evolution and just attack Creationism.

    Been doing that for years.

    • They'd misquote Creationist literature to make it seem stupid and contradictory...well, no, actually, they accomplish that NOW, by directly quoting.

    They are as fond of misquotes as anyone at ICR.

    • They'd mispele a lot of wrds, AND WRIET WITH CAPLOCKS ALL THE THYME!

    Plenty of evolutionists do this on the internet. Ignorance and bad manners abounds on both sides of this controversy.

    • You couldn't get a science degree without signing a statement of evolution.

    That's right, you can't at most institutions.

    • Research results would have to match

    Come on, that would presuppose that evolutionists can do research!

    • You could win half a million dollars by keeping 500,000 animals in an for one year.

    I think you meant to write "ark" in there. Don't know where you pulled that stat from.

    • They'd picket ' ' with signs showing which animals weren't from the Jurassic.

    Jurassic Park, the movie, I presume? Plenty of evolutionists did criticise it.

    • They'd refuse to donate money to museums, and then complain about how their donations were being wasted on misinformation exhibits.

    They did that to the British Museum when it wouldn't claim that all species are part of one big tree of life.

    • They'd print little comic books about evolutionary theory and litter them around playgrounds and Sunday School classrooms.

    Yeah, they prefer to print their litter in the textbooks. But there is no end of cartoons, comic books, movies, TV shows, et cetera ad nauseum preaching the gospel of evolution.

    • They'd count all the different religions, even ones with no followers alive today, and say that there are hundreds of competing theories on Creation, Salvation and the Afterlife, as if that would discredit any individual religions.

    They do that now, and seem to believe that it discredits Christianity.

    Robert V Frazier

  • Tashawaa
    Tashawaa

    • They'd "point by point" break down a satire thread
  • Corvin
    Corvin
    If Evolutionists
    used
    Creationist tactics

    . . . it would still be just a fairy tale as it has always been.

    http://www.nwcreation.net/evolutionfraud.html

  • funkyderek
    funkyderek
    http://www.nwcreation.net/evolutionfraud.html

    Hehe, brilliant. Not only do they start with Piltdown Man, they also claim "Neanderthal was just as human as us, and his stooped appearance was because of arthritis and rickets". A perfect example of creationist tactics. This site almost makes answersingenesis.org look well-researched and honest!

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