JW Conventions vs BRCI Conferences

by Amazing 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • Amazing
    Amazing

    JW Convention Exhortations: Brothers, please be at your seats, the program is about to begin. You should have already eaten and gone to the bathroom by now. It is time to take your seats and enjoy the fine spiritual feast that comes from the loving provision of Gods organization. I recall one CO at the platform sarcastically saying, 'I am waiting brothers ... those in the back of the Assembly Hall, please take your seats you are holding up the program.' Brothers, should you really be getting up going to the bathroom during the program? We have frequent breaks for your convenience. Your should really be at your seats taking in this fine spiritual food that the FDS has prepared for you.

    BRCI Conference: No instruction. If you have to pee, just do it.

    BUT, I learned something from JW conventions! Bathroom breaks? Oh, I learned a s a JW to hold it because going to the bathroom, I might miss some important nugget of truth. But, I finally got so absorbed and practiced in the art of digging out these nuggests of truth, that I just stayed in my stadium seat and peed in my pants.

    Actually, that happened one time when my daughter was sitting on my lap, and I got so absorbed in the program, that she peed on my lap, which in turn wet my pants, and filled the plastic stadium seat with about an inch of water. I laughed and dripped, and of so many Conventions over the years, that was something which stood out in my memory. But, I finally learned why so many dads got up to walk their kids around. They could not stand anymore "nuggets" of truth, and they got tired of their kids getting their pants wet. We learn to get the kids out walking around and close to the bathroom so we can stay dry. - Amazing

  • Jang
    Jang
    Brothers, should you really be getting up going to the bathroom during the program? We have frequent breaks for your convenience. Your should really be at your seats taking in this fine spiritual food that the FDS has prepared for you.

    We weren't going to the bathroom to pee ... we were going there to barf!! We didn't feel like barfing during the breaks cause we weren't choking on the fine spiritual food from the FDS at the time .... but during the program we just couldn't help ourselves

    JanG
    CAIC Website: http://caic.org.au/zjws.htm
    Personal Webpage: http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/

  • larc
    larc

    Amazing,

    Give your best talk ever at the BRCI conference. I wish I could be there to hear it. Give my regards to Dan D. He knows my handle here. He is one of my favorite people.

    I only spoke once at a BRCI conference. It was on stress management. Several years later I went to a conference in Orlando, and a brother told me how much he appreciated what I said. It was a good feeling to hear that.

  • Francois
    Francois

    They really do beat that "spiritual food" metaphor to a pulp, don't they? And as you noted really get off on that "in loco parentis" behavior.

    I don't know about you, but I went to the conventions in order to maintain my friendships with other young people in my congregation (yeah, married by then).

    I liked it lots better when I went to assemblies to get laid. It was a damn sight easier than going to a bar to get laid. And you know, when I've described all that to some of my friends who were really into the Borg they are astounded.

    "Get LAID?" They'd say, mouth agape. "At an assembly? I didn't know that kind of thing went on at assemblies?"

    "You think you can put twenty-five hundred each of male and female teens and young adults together in a heaving, hot mass and not have nature take over?"

    "But assemblies? Where the FDS is presenting all that spiritual food? It's sacreligious?" He'd say.

    "It's stupid to think anything else, that's what it is." I'd say. "It was a feast, though, I'll give you that. But not the kind the FDS had in mind."

    Now let's have a show of hands. Who among you regularly got laid at assemblies? And I mean assemblies of any size, any place. My experience covered mainly places in the southeast like Gatlinburg, TN; Asheville, NC; Big Stone Gap, VA; Jacksonville, FL.

    OK TIME TO FESS UP. How many of you?

    Francois

    Where it is a duty to worship the Sun you can be sure that a study of the laws of heat is a crime.

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    Hey, Amazing!

    I've been to the BRCI site and have a question you might be able to answer. Can I just show up for the day and attend the conference?
    I only live about 3 hrs. from Kitchener-Waterloo and thought about driving up for Saturday. What time does the Saturday session begin?

    Thanks,
    outnfree

  • NameWithheld
    NameWithheld

    Francoise: I sure wanted to get laid - but was of the 'too shy' class. Didn't stop me from having one thing on my mind during those wonderful conventions though! Ah those wonderful memories of 'cruising' the halls ...

  • Amazing
    Amazing

    Hi OutnFree: you asked,

    I've been to the BRCI site and have a question you might be able to answer. Can I just show up for the day and attend the conference? I only live about 3 hrs. from Kitchener-Waterloo and thought about driving up for Saturday. What time does the Saturday session begin?

    The conference begins on Friday, I think about noon. I don't have the program in front of me. It runs all day Sat from about 9:00 AM to about 5:00PM and I think on Sunday it is from 9:00 Am to Noon. Yoiu can attend any session you want, anytime. It is open and Free, no Collections, Free ... LOL - Amazing

  • Had Enough
    Had Enough

    Hello Amazing:

    Thanks for the info on the contrasting attitude your Conference has. Sure do appreciate hearing there'll be no chastisements about bathroom breaks....and I don't expect anyone carrying the "Quiet Please" sign and the "Please Take Your Seat" signs.

    Can you tell me what day you will be speaking?

    Had Enough

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    Thanks, Amazing!

    Maybe I'll see you there, then!

    outnfree

  • pearljan
    pearljan

    francoise,

    wow, i am surprised, and i was a single sister for 10 years. but that explains somethings, now that i think back. what, would you go out to cars in the parking lot? or hotel fun!!!coming to reality about so many things in this orginazation, its amazing. thanks for being honest.

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