Professional Dis-Courtesy

by Lady Lee 4 Replies latest social humour

• 

  Lady Lee

  Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an attorney got on and took the aisle seat next to the two physicians. The attorney kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the physician in the window seat said," I think I'll get up and get a coke."

  "No problem," said the attorney, "I'll get it for you."

  While he was gone, one of the physicians picked up the attorney's shoe and put a thumbtack in it. When he returned with the coke, the other physician said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."

  Again, the attorney obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other physician picked up the other shoe and put a tack in it. The attorney returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

  As the plane was landing, the attorney slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

  "How long must this go on?" he asked. "This fighting between our professions? This hatred? This animosity?"

  "This putting tacks in shoes and peeing in cokes?"
• 

  Soledad

  eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww!! LOL!
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  Gadget

  The Queen of England and the Pope are guests of honour at the Annual England vs Ireland Soccer Match.

  Both are getting right into the feel of things and the Queen leans over to the Pope and says, "I bet I can make all the English People in the crowd cheer wildly with a simple hand gesture."

  The Pope looks at her disbelievingly, so the Queen does her famous wave and all the English people in the crowd cheer wildly as one.

  The Pope leans over and says to the Queen, "That was nothing...I bet I can make all of the Irish People in the crowd party wildy for a week with just the nod of my head."

  The Queens says, "Well that is totally unbelievable - let's see."

  A split second later the Pope Head butts her......
• 

  Gadget

  Roger is buying his cousin's used motorcycle.
  He says, "My God, it's so shiny! It's like new! What's your secret?"
  His cousin says, "Well, any time it's about to rain, I coat the chrome with some Vaseline so it won't tarnish. In fact, I won't be needing this any longer, take my tube."

  Roger and his girlfriend are going to her parents' house for dinner for the first time, so he goes to pick her up on the motorcycle.

  As she's getting on the bike behind him, she says, "Listen, I have to tell you something. My family's a little strange. You can't talk during dinner. If you talk during dinner, you have to do the dishes."

  When they walk into her parents' house, not only in the kitchen, but in the dining room, the living room, on the stairs, the back porch, everywhere, there are piles and piles of dirty dishes. They haven't done the dishes in months.

  They sit down to eat, and the whole meal, nobody talks.
  It's the end of the meal, Roger is getting a little horny, and he figures nobody is going to say anything, so he grabs his girlfriend, and pops! her right there on the dining room table.
  Nobody says nothing.

  He's still a little horny, and her mother is kind of cute, so he figures, "What the hell?" He throws her mother up on the table and starts to do her.

  He's just about done with her, when he looks out the window and sees it's starting to rain on his motorcycle. He reaches into his pocket and takes out the tube of Vaseline.

  Her father jumps up and says, "All right, all right, I'll do the f***ing dishes."
• 

  qwerty

  Or if Ali-G was tellin it...........

  Roga is purchasein is cousin's used motorcycle. he says, "my Jackie Chan, it's so shiny! it's dig new! wus your secret?" is cousin says, "well, any time it's about to rain, i tommy hilfinga da chrome wiv some vaseline so it won't tarnish. in fact, i won't be needin dis any longa, take my tube."

  roga and is bitch is goin to a parents' ouse fa grub fa da first time, so he goes to pick a up on da motorcycle.

  As she's gettin on da bike behind im, she says, "listun, i ave to tell yous somethin. my crew's a little batty. Yous can't natta durin grub. if yous natta durin grub, yous ave to do da dishes." whun dey walk into a parents' ouse, not only in da kitchun, but in da dinin room, da livin room, on da stairs, da back porch, everywhere, there is piles and piles of mingin dishes. dey ain't done da dishes in months.

  Dey sit down to eat, and da whole meal, nobody natters. it's da end of da meal, roga is gettin a little orny, and he figures nobody is goin to say anythin, so he grabs is bitch, and speed gagares! a right there on da dinin room table. nobody says nothin.

  e's still a little orny, and a mam is kind of fit, so he figures, "what da ell?" he throws a mam up on da table and starts to do a. e's just about done wiv a, whun he checks out da window and sees it's startin to rain on is motorcycle. he reaches into is pocket and takes out da tube of vaseline. a old geeza ops up and says, "all right, all right, i'll do da f***ing dishes."