Necessary family matters

by 1914 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • 1914
    1914

    What is the definition of a necessary family matter in regards to association of someone judged by the watchtower?

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  • Special K
    Special K

    Could you clarify your question just a tad more, please?

    Special K.

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  • 1914
    1914

    I am df'd. The elders say my family can only speak to me regarding necessary family matters. To me that is a broad statement, everything "family" is necessary to me. I'm thinking the only things they want me to do for my family is what they don't want to. Does that make any better sense??

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  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Well, nothing stopping you from talking to them. If you enjoy speaking to a brick wall.

    I think "necessary family matters" is deliberately vague. It sounds like a great question for "Questions from Readers". How I have seen it played out from stories on the board is, you may or may not be called when a relative is on their deathbed. You may or may not be informed of a wedding or the birth of a child. You will be contacted to straighten out financial matters.

    For family members who live with a DF'd one, "necessary family matters" may extend to "Please pass the butter."

    The kindest, most loveliest of Jehovah's Witness mothers are the ones who say, "Hang the rules, I will never stop speaking to my child." I hope you have family like that.

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  • blondie
    blondie

    This is what JWs are told are "necessary matters."

    w70 6/1 pp. 351-352 Questions from Readers ***

    Yet, there might be some absolutely necessary family matters requiring communication, such as legalities over a will or property.

    *** w81 9/15 p. 29 If a Relative Is Disfellowshiped . . . ***

    Consequently, Christians related to such a disfellowshiped person living outside the home should strive to avoid needless association, even keeping business dealings to a minimum.

    It is amazing how some JW families have a lot of business and legal dealings to discuss with DF'd family members.

    Blondie

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  • frenchbabyface
    frenchbabyface
    The elders say my family can only speak to me regarding necessary family matters

    That is when you realise how *** up they are ... I mean it is about YOUR FAMILLY "CAN ONLY" they didn't sign any paper with you familly by the way (just the can only would get me CRAZY) ! HOW DARE THEY ...

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  • Corvin
    Corvin
    Yet, there might be some absolutely necessary family matters requiring communication, such as legalities over a will or property.

    " . . . not even eating with such a man . . . "

    What hypocrites.

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  • Room 215
    Room 215

    Interesting, isn't it, that the ``necessary family matters" which the Society mentions, i.e., wills, property, etc. -- all matters connected with money and financial assets -- are cited as the main exceptions when it comes to dialogue with Df'd family members... well before caring for elderly dependent parents or mortuary arrangements, etc.

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  • 1914
    1914

    Thanks all for the good response. I do have some family members that have a brain and we do associate, however that is the exception and not the rule. Of course you are right when it comes to financial matters.

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  • dh
    dh

    some elders i know who have df'd children have no problem in chilling with them whether they live at home or not.

    i guess these elders must realise that family is necessary and matters.

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