financial distress caused by Jehovahs Witnesses

by Gaynor 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • Gaynor
    Gaynor

    I dont know where to post this but I just want to blow off some steam, i was baptised as a JW in February 1994, in September of last year I was disfellowshipped, this was for allowing my partner from America to come to live in my house, they said we were committing fornication, we werent. my disfellowshipping occured just 1 week prior to my marriage, and despite breaking my heart and sobbing to the elders they remained convinced of our fornication and disfellowshipped me. I appealled and had to endure 2 hours of interrogation by 6 elders, again my heart was breaking, again they disfellowshipped. Since then my husband met someone else online and left me to go and live with her. I also have met someone else, a Catholic man who i love very much. He and I want to marry, and the priest of our Catholic church said that He will arrange an annulment with the bishop as my husband was very violent towards me and the marriage was civil ceremony not before God. My new partner is an American, and I am English, I am living in His apartment in California but again both of us are deeply religious and are abstaning from any fornication. American law states that I must go home to England every 90 days, but Immigration in America said that once we are married I stay and apply for a permanent visa. The wedding is planned for April 2006 to allow time for the Annulment to go through and my conversion to the Catholic faith, a process that takes 1 year ending at Easter vigil next year. To follow the RCIA faith formation course I have to provide proof that at some point in my life I have undergone christian baptism. the JWs do not give a certificate of baptism so I asked the Elders in my old congregation to write me a letter confirming that I had undergone water baptism. They refused point blank, said there are legal issues and it couldnt be done.

    The issue is this, to undergo counselling for engaged couples and to arrange a marriage I have to be catholic. To undergo fresh baptism takes 2 years not 1. So the wedding is delayed 1 year. This means that I will have to pay for airline tickets to England for an extra year, to comply with visa regulations. It also means I cant work in the USA. My partner is at school studying to be a Chiropractor, he qualifies in 2 years, around the time of our Marriage. The plan is to open his own business with me as office manager, receptionist and book keeper. But if the wedding is delayed a year, then I cant work in the USA for another year and he will have to employ an outsider to do the job. that will cost in excess of $15,000 for a year plus 4 return airfares bump the price up to nearly $20,000 just because the Jehovahs Witnesses will not write a letter stating I was baptised.

    Can anyone advise me on how I can get around the stubborn Elders in my old congregation and get the letter that proves I have been baptised so all can proceed smoothly?

  • jwbot
    jwbot

    I am confused. Ok I understand that you want your marriage annulled by the church, but are you divorced by the state?

    In not, why don't you get a divorce by the state so you can remarry, and get married by the justice of the peace to take care of the immigration thing so you do not need to go back. Then you can just live in the US until everything is figured out by the church and you are free to marry your lover by the church? Would that work?

  • ConcernedMom
    ConcernedMom

    I'm a bit confused...I was baptised and raised Catholic. I have been married twice (first husband deceased)--both times in the Catholic church and both times to NON-Catholics. You don't need to be Catholic to marry a Catholic...at least not in Canada and I'm pretty sure not in the US. You would have to have your first marriage annulled (I think but I have no personal experience with this one) because the Catholic church doesn't recognise divorce. So the way I understand you, I don't think not being able to get a JW baptisimal certificate should hold up your marriage. You may need it to continue on to become Catholic but not for your marriage which seems to be the immigration problem. Deb

  • ConcernedMom
    ConcernedMom

    Wow! All this since last September...you've had a busy 10 months!

  • shamus
    shamus
    Can anyone advise me on how I can get around the stubborn Elders in my old congregation and get the letter that proves I have been baptised so all can proceed smoothly?

    You can't. If they will not co-operate now, they probably never will. Sorry.

  • kls
    kls

    Please don't take this the wrong way but it seams that in stead of your happiness you two are putting religion first. You are letting jws and Catholic's decide when and where to marry. Why do you feel the need to let them control your happiness they are using their powers to manipulate your lives.

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    maybe it is a blessing in disguise to give you both more time. it sounds as if you went from the frying pan into the fire. even though it is distressful and financially trying, if it's meant to be, it will happen. perhaps this is god's way of saying just to take your time for right now. the only way you can get around this if you are bound and determined to be married, is to marry as soon as you can in a civil wedding and *then* go through the catholic conversion that takes two years.

    country girl

  • hillbilly
    hillbilly

    Take your money, buy a house, or buy some stocks, get married when you want to and let the Church take care of itself. Sounds like you might need to speak with another parrish.

    Get married in a civil ceremony.... it's easier to convert that way, .. besides, what the point of the little booth if you don't use it from time to time.

    ----------Hill

    (hey- you got a DF/DA letter... cant toss you out if you were never in. any ex elders around who can right you an avidavit?)

  • hillbilly
    hillbilly

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/40232/1.ashx

    Read this link-- your '94 version swim lesson dont count for squat with the 'big guy' anyway.

    -----Hill (grace is in our Lord Class--- but no Funidies live here class)

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