The REAL reason JW's don't give parties....

by LDH 3 Replies latest jw friends

  • LDH
    LDH

    I posted this in response to Patio's thread called JW kids, but thought I'd post it here for any who hadn't read that thread.

    I'd like to share an experience that I haven't shared so far (don't worry there's lots more, lol!)

    When I was 24, I decided that the young people had no one to hang out with. I decided to host a rollerskating party at the rollerskating rink in my hometown. (rollerskating being one of the few activities that JW kids are allowed).

    I was a single mother at that time, and working full time sometimes 50 hours a week.

    I decided to speak with the owner, who agreed to close the rink on a Saturday afternoon. I agreed to pay a $250 facility charge, and he lowered the admission price from $6 to $2. I tried to get him to just take $500 and call it even but he thought he would make more money that way. It was fine with me, I figured JW pay $6 all the time so what's the big deal with paying $2?

    I invited 300 people, and had the event catered with REAL food (not the chips and salsa that is common at JW gatherings). I paid for ALL of the food, and agreed to pay Mr. Reese $1 per head for soft drinks.

    As you can see, I went to considerable expense.

    In addition, I composed an invitation.My father (elder) reviewed the invitation and we carefully reworded it until it was just right. Mailed them out (not distributed at the KH). Organized a group of 15-20 Ministerial Servants and Elders who agreed to chaperone the party.

    On the invitation, I plainly stated that only those that received an invitation would be allowed into the Rink, and that if they wanted someone else to come along, it had to be cleared through me. I appointed a 'doorman' to check invitations. Everyone had a great time.

    About one week after the party, I was invited into the Elder's room with one Elder in particular who I can't stand to this day, (B. Brig# --sorry for the side point but he was on the committee that df'd me, and one of his questions was "What color was the man you slept with?") and another elder who I really can't remember.

    They unleased article after article on me about 'parties' and 'charging admission to a party' (yes there was a WT or Awake article--from like the 70's--could someone find it for me and paste it here?)

    There was a family in our congregation who was VERY POOR. They had received an invitation, almost a month prior. I spoke to this family several times to check and make sure they would be there, I really wanted the children to go. They assured me they would. (Mental instability in both parents as well.)

    Apparently, they complained to the elders because 'they couldn't afford to go to a party where admission was being charged.' This was the accusation I was facing. Also, B. Brig#'s family didn't receive an invitation. This was the other charge I was facing, 'showing partiality.'

    Well I let them have their say for a few minutes then I kicked some Elder Ass.

    I told B. Brig# the reason his family wasn't invited was because I couldn't stand them! They were NOT overlooked, I didn't want them there. His wife always called my daughter EDOM (claiming it was a mispronunciation), and quite frankly I asked him name me one thing you or any member of your family has ever done for ANYONE in my family, that would obligate me to give you an invitation? He couldn't, and that made him angry.

    As for the poor family, I was outraged. I informed the Elders that on MANY OCCASIONS that they were unaware of I had taken the children to buy clothes, shoes and school supplies along with giving them money where I could. (Remember I was a single parent) I had also given the mom and dad money on more than 10 occasions, when they had no gas or food in their house.

    I wasn't really mad at them, like I said, there was some mental instability. The thing was, the elders took their complaints as gospel (knowing that they were just short of being troublemakers)and questioned me about something so petty.

    Like I told the elders, the parents had asked me for money before. If they REALLY wanted to go to the party, they knew me well enough to tell me they couldn't afford the $10, and I would have paid it.

    This is the reason that no one in the congregation will give parties for the young people--the unneccesary grief that they are put through even after all JW precautions have been put in place.

    Talk about feeling beat down and discouraged, I never hosted another party. The young people talked about it for months, begging me to host another.

    Thanks for letting me reminisce. [8>]

    Lisa

  • RunningMan
    RunningMan

    Your elders must have been pretty lenient.

    Going to roller skating rinks was banned by my congregation. Back
    in the early 80's, it was common for Witness kids to go to the roller
    rink, but then one of the elders discovered that loud rock music
    was played. This was in the middle of one of the debasing music
    purges of the day.

    So, no more roller skating.

  • Free2Bme
    Free2Bme

    LDH
    I must get a scanner!!!I love researching on the WT cd-rom and would've posted the article for you.
    I wish we had someone like you when I was a Witness youth. We sometimes had small gatherings but something on a larger scale would've been excellent for making new friends. It makes a difference meeting people in their casuals and acting like everyday peeps instead of stuffed shirts.
    There were a lot of do's and don'ts. We used to travel to a nearish city to iceskate and meet up with Witnesses from all over. That dried up but I dunno if it was dissapproved. Too long ago to remember (I'm so old!)
    For years the highlight of our social calendar was barn dancing where many romances blossomed. Also bowling was another ok activity.
    Of course these were a bit boring really which lead to some of us having rather wild parties when we lived in flats.
    This is diversing from kiddies activities but I was wondering if all those endless restrictions and rules and no-nos drove us to being a bit over the top later.
    Even JW's have to live their lives! Working on the PLEASURE/PAIN principle they should be having a hell of a lot of fun lol.

    Free

  • momoftwo
    momoftwo

    Lisa-

    Thanks for the story. I don't know how I managed to stick around until I was 20. It's truly a wonder they have any young people left in that organization.

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