well i wrote my first post in April. where a lot of you responded and were very helpful. I was another victim of being a non-jw dating a messed up disfellowshipped jw. It was so hard dealing with it. My ex says he will not go back. Yet he doesn't move on. he never went to wedding, funerals, birthdays you know the deal. It has been 8 months. It's still hard i still do love him and it hurts, but I feel free from this. He would say i would leave him, resent him and feel free. I do. He has tried for months calling and emailing me. I tell him over and over that i dont' want any communication whatsoever. He wrote to me today once again after calling me at work first. I never told him to be less attached to his parents just to move out and move on. He would call and complain when jws are at his parents house. He says i was a miserable person. Not true most people know me as usually being happy stressed of course with school full time job etc. Well this is what he wrote. If you guys want to share your thoughts, advise. I have never responded to his emails. I just don't see the point.
I'm sorry about the phone call and I am sorry if you get mad at the fact that I am writing you. I promise that this will in fact be the last time you hear from me in anyway because I honestly want to respect your request and because I feel like an idiot having tried so many times to talk and just keep, in essence, getting smacked in the face.
What I have been wanting to tell you xxxxx... is that you were right. I know that you knew that but it took me some time to realize that. You were right about me and the things I needed to change and the fact that I needed to be more flexible. You were right about me needing to be less attached to my parents and less worried about what they would think. You were right about me needing to get out more and be less uptight. You were right about me and my latino macho attitude. I am sorry about the way things turned out because I know that I caused most of it. You were stressed out and I didn't help. At times I felt like you were a miserable person but I know that alot of it was probably a reaction to the way things were going.
The last eight months have been crazy for me, alot has been happening internally(mentally) and externally(life in general)and like I said in my call, I just feel like it would be such a tragedy, such a waste, if after having known each other for that long we simply acted like we didn't know each other because the truth is that sometimes I wish I could call you and talk to you simply to talk. At times I think to myself how sad it is that I didn't realize any of this earlier, because I now honestly feel like I am a different person, and that I am more like that person I should have been before. But hey, it is what it is, and in telling you all of this I seek nothing more than to tell you this and to sincerely say that I'm sorry.
I hope that in the future you find someone who treats you the right way from the very beginning because you do deserve it. I know that if we gave it another try things just wouldn't be the same; too much has happened for things to be normal again. I understand that things are different now but I want you to know that I care about you and love you as a person, how can I not after the time we spent together, and because of that I want you to be happy and if we never speak again I at least would like to know, or hear somehow, through the grapevine, that you are doing well, that you're happy, and that you've succeeded in acheiving all the goals you've set out for yourself. I hope for nothing but the best for you.
With much love,
XXXXX