by Nightside_of_Eden 9 Replies latest jw friends
Hi, i am new here. I quit JW not too long ago. And i have a question.
What are you're xperiences with getting in the 'normal' live with doing birthday's etc? Don't you find it
strange to get started with these things after 30 yrs not have done it. It's odd the get a normal
live i think... did you find it difficult to do the things JW's don't?
i was a jw till i was 18, my birthday is xmas day. i left 8 years ago. i still do not celebrate xmas or birthdays. i never broke the habbit or felt the need to, i'm not christian and couldn't care less about xmas, except the cute girls in santa hats! they are nice to see.
if i have kids someday though, i will definitely make sure their birthdays are celebrated, but for myself it's too late in the game to care about my own birthday.
Yes, alot of things do feel very strange, if not even scary at first, due to all the brainwashing and conditioning against birthdays/holidays/celebrating etc. But its like anything the more you do it, the more used to it you get. Do you ever get a real "normal" life back after the JWs, I personally dont think so. But then again what is normal after all? What you create is your own norm, what is normal for you. What makes it easier for me to really feel ok about doing non jw things, like holidays and such, is watching how thrilled my children get. I get alot of enjoyment out of that. So, I focus on the fun part if it, like that. Getting comfortable doing these things can be a slow process for some (others may adapt more quickly I think), so take it one step at a time. Its cool when you ge to the point where it really is FUN!
ciao!
Netty
Welcome Nightside,
I thought this thread was about monks at first LOL (a habit is what a monk wears, and a habit is to be broken)
Yes it is strange at first celebrating xmas and birthdays, but if you get used to it its really worth it! I love birthdays now. I even celebrate may day and other holidays. There are pagan roots to many things that the JWs allow, such as wedding rings and the calendar we use. They are hypocritical to say that birthdays are somehow wrong.
Sirona
Another Dutchie joins the board.
Welcome.
Andy.
btw. There's a get together in Amsterdam on the 28th of August Feel free to join us.
welcome to the board
and since your profile said its your birthday:
"Happy birthday - wel gefeliciteerd"
You see, it ain't that difficult at all - just celebrate.
My family is very helpful to me.
I've been a dub for 15 years and just now started celebrating birthdays, etc.
The other day, it was my mom's birthday.
My dad calls me up, and said, "Did you forget your mom's birthday."
I told him yes. Then he says, call up your mom.
So... Here I was, hanging up with my dad who called me on the cell phone.
I call my mom on the home phone 2 seconds later. And my dad answers "OH!!! HELLO!!!"
Making it seem like I just called.
It was pretty funny.
I never celebrated my Birthday and I am not all of a sudden celebrating it now just because everybody does. If you want to fine, but don't do anything because it is supposed to be 'normal'. If you really want to it's easy: just gather some friends, family and arch-enemies, get some beer, toast etc put some music on and roll!
Welcome to the board! If you want to know more feel free to PM me or some other dutchies around here. We are a rare breed afterall.
Greven
Welcome Nightside_ of_ Eden
Me and hubby have been fading for a year. We were both raised as JW's...lived it for 30 years.
We don't celebrate any holiday.....we don't see the point in it. When I was growing up, we celebrated all holidays before one of my parents got baptized....I never really enjoyed them.
Before we faded my hubby would always take me out for dinner!!! Now with the fade, he doesn't care about "his" birthday, cause like DH put it, it is "too late"...I choose to get him a card and gift and tell him how special he is....after all, "life is a precious gift" and I am glad this precious gift came into my life!!!
Codeblue
It is really hard to start celebrating holidays and Birthdays, it took me years to not feel guilty that i was not doing something wrong besides the fact my JW husband looks at me like i am evil.
Now i just don't give a crap : )
