need some advice

boy@crossroads

I've been doing the fade for about 5 months now and doing my best to stay away from all witnesses. I'm currently living with my brother who is still an active witness. I've been doing my best these last couple of months to establish friends away from the twoof. Well, yesterday my brother had a witness he met at the last assembly come by and play guitar with us. Come to find out I really liked the guy and wouldn't mind playing in a band with him. I don't think the guy has a regular witness mind set. Come to find out most of his family is not in the truth, when he came yesterday he brought with him a photo album of his relatives and seemed pretty proud of them despite many of his relatives in the pictures having tattoos and smoking. He seems the type of guy who really looks at the inward person. I think his family might have been raised around the truth. But I don't know this guy perplexes me. He was dissfellowshiped a while back, he said. And I guess upon reinstatement he's doing his best to be approvable to the witnesses.

I think he already knows that I don't do the service thing and I don't think he would say anything to me about it. but I just don't know. I would love to be friends with this guy. Hopefully in the future he will leave the organization. I'm nervous about hanging out with him right now b/c I don't want any witness entanglements. but right now I would like some association with something I'm familiar with. I've tried hanging out with so called "worldly" individuals but I'm still a little uncomfortable around them.

Odrade

hey, why not? just keep developing ties with "never have beens" so if it gets wonky you have something still. And just be patient, the other friendships you are developing take time, but it's worth it.

O

littletree

I'm going through the same thing... so I don't have any good advice to give. A girl that I was best friends with when I was active still wants to hang out with me (she was disfellowshipped, but came back). I really do need some friends, since I faded away a year ago. In the meantime, I've just been growing closer to my non-JW family members. I've decided to just hang out with the JW girl sparingly, lest other JWs convince her to reject me in the end, or she even decides to get all righteous on me. It takes time to build new friendships.

Preston

I read your post boy and I understand where you're coming from. I think the longer people are aware that you're trying to move away from that part of your life, it will become easier to make friends.

I would like some association with something I'm familiar with. I've tried hanging out with so called "worldly" individuals but I'm still a little uncomfortable around them.

You said it would it be easier for you to associate with something your familiar with, does it have to be religious based, or can it be a hobby or something?

DireStraitJacket

Unfortunately it takes forever to get new friends, basically because we are still trying to figure out what to believe in and what interests we have now that we aren't censored by the society. Try finding people with similar interests as you, eg music, talk about your favourite band or whatever with someone and eventually its gets easier to talk about other stuff with them as well.
I struggle a lot with it as well. The only real friends I have now are a few guys I went to school with, and it took 3-4 years to become friends with them, and that was cause I didn't have much choice but to associate with them. I'm trying to be more open with people I meet daily, but it still takes a long time before I feel comfortable around "strangers".

Big Tex

There's only one way to find out. Be open and honest. Be yourself. That way, if he can handle who you are and where you're going in your life, then you've found a friend. If not, you've found an answer.

Good luck.