Tragedy averted

SheilaM

This is about my older sister and I

Tragedy Averted

I spoke to my sister today

Each word guarded, stilted, skirting issues.

As if we were walking on ice, thin

Hazardous after a thaw

Each word a step, careful, tentative.

I knew if I stooped down

Blowing my hot breath against the frost.

The problems could be seen swirling,

Moving in the eddies of dark water.

One unguarded step would cause the surface to crack,

Sending us tumbling into the chill

Instead I walk, testing my footing? numb from the cold.

OOps changed a line sorry

SheilaM

That bad huh LOL34 views no replies SIGH

Sheila, I will comment....Is your sister still a JW? I contemplated your poem in this light because mine is and I have barely spoke with her since I left the Org about a year ago. We used to be close but now she is on guard with me and we never talk anymore. She doesn't want to know what I am about and I don't want to hurt her so we just don't talk. It feels horrible. Sometimes I want to blurt it out, but I don't know what to say to her. The ice is very thin...Your poem was similiar to my feelings right now.

Love, cybs

jwbot

Sheila...I was one of those viewers-no-comment people. I am sometimes bad with words. I looked at the poem and thought that someone else who is better with words will probably better (I say better a lot) convey what I feel. It is a very heartfelt poem and mirrors how I feel about my family, and of course, most people on this board.

CeriseRose

I sent a letter to my sister (still a JW) on my impending marriage and our possibly crossing paths at a family function (if they go).

What you've written is EXACTLY how I felt when writing/sending the letter...and the trepidation I'm feeling at her possible response (non-response). She told my aunt before she got the letter that the party sounded good. She hasn't gotten back to my aunt (it's been over a week). I don't know how to read that.

I also don't know if I care to worry about it. It's sad, but I can't keep living worrying about her and how she might perceive it. Of course, I'm feeling cavalier right now. By PMS time it may bug me a lot. :S

*hugs* Thanks for sharing it. :)

SheilaM

Cyber,JwBot and Cerise: Thank you I am so glad when I can express something SO close to home with me but have it mirror others lives. I just wish it could all me happy stuff

I posted a poem about my estrangment from my middle sis not long ago, it was titled Betrayl of Snow. My older sis and I have always gotten along (None of my family were dubs just DYSFUNCTIONAL) BUT I am expected to do things perfectly or she pulls away from me. I have never lived with her, cussed at her or fought with her as my other two siblings have BUT she has invited me to Thanksgiving then uninvited me (TORE MY HEART OUT) no reason given...she never warned my my other siblings were heavy into Coke and her not warning me almost got me raped and killed. She has enabled the two siblings to abuse me verbally and emotionally and never tried to stop them BUT she expects me to forgive and forget and on and on...

I am expected to act perfect or face her cold rejection.....and I'm about to the point of saying it isn't worth it. She is an enabler was with three abusive marriages and will always be.

gypsywildone

What a profound poem. I have a sister it can mildly apply to, we are polar opposites & it takes great effort sometimes not to stir the pot. It's not a jnut thing, it's a personality thing. She isn't a jw, just uptight.

I keep her at arm's length because I don't want to work that hard. Why should I, when I have friends that accept me for myself. A friend once sent me a Christmas card that said "Friends are the family you make for yourself".

I also have another sister that is effortless! We just grove & laugh all day! And that is the one married to the guy raised jw that claims they are jws, but I see different. I see that they are always home when I call on meeting nights. I see it when we are around them. but he defends it if you make the mistake of telling it like it is. I have snet them numberous links about child abuse & the UN. I don't have to be careful with her, just HIM.

simplesally

Sheila,

This is too close to home for me. My sister and I saw each other for the first time at my cousins wedding. I went purposely even though it was a long drive but I took the time off work (vacation I did not have) and drove the 5.5 hours to npy's house, then the hour and a half to the wedding the next day..............JUST TO SEE HER AND FOR HER TO SEE MY DAUGHTER.

She has not spoken to me since the end of 1999. I needed her to see my daughter and for her to get to know us again. She saw us, she played with my daughter, but it ended there............now I have to make the phone call I thought she would make since she said we could talk...........she cut me off.

I will have to brace up for that phone call but feel like I will be treading on ice..........

avengers

One unguarded step would cause the surface to crack,
Sending us tumbling into the chill

One wrong word and years of work goes down the drain.You did good.
My Mom (who is not JW) compares it with walking on eggs.

Andy

SheilaM

Gypsy:

I also have another sister that is effortless

I use to think my relationship with her was effortless... then I realized I was just treading on the ice. I realized her love for my brother and sister was "unconditional" but with me it is very conditional.

SimpleSally:

I will have to brace up for that phone call but feel like I will be treading on ice

(((((((((SimpleSally))))))))))) I am so sorry .......I KNOW how hard that will be. Be strong we are here for you.

Avengers: Thank you so much

Tragedy averted

SheilaM

SheilaM

cyber-sista

jwbot

CeriseRose

SheilaM

gypsywildone

simplesally

avengers

SheilaM

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