Hi there
I am seeking advice here.
As some of you know I have been fading since December 03. During that time I have had about 3 letters of encouragement from family friends to come back, and messages of how lovely my children are (what they are really saying is 'why am I being an evil mother and not bringing them to the meetings!!!! - do I not know I am their lifeline and they will die if I dont go!?!?')...and how they really miss me! I've had a little note from an elder asking me if I want to arrange a shepherding call ( that was about 5 months ago now).
Well the thing is noone has been round, or maybe they have. I deliberately go out on a sunday afternoon cause I reckon this is likely to be the time they will call round on me. How long do I go on like this? Would like to chill out at home on a sunday afternoon, but I am afraid of the confrontation. I mean what will I say? How will I answer their questions? What if my boyfriend is there?
My family dont want me to get disfellowshipped, so I am trying to fade...but I just dont know what to do if the situation arises where they confront me.
I feel as though as I am only semi-free from them. I walk down the street looking over my shoulder. I feel like I have a relative happiness and I just want to LIVE fully, like a normal person!
HELP!
Chok
p.s. apparently its the CO's visit this week, so they will probably be all fired up to come round n sort me out! OMG what if the CO comes round????????????????