Here is a letter I'm sending off....let me know if you have any suggestions, I want it to be to the point and also positive:
Dear Mom,
I now realize that I can never be the son or person you want me to be. I?m doing the best I can to be a great son to you and dad, but too often I am left with the impression that you view me as ?spiritually weak? or even an ?apostate? In various publications that you follow and believe, they say something along the lines of:
We need to examine, not only what we personally believe, but also what is taught by any religious organization with which we may be associated. If we are lovers of the truth, there is nothing to fear from such an examination.
Based on my life experiences as well as many sleepless nights of research and soul searching, I do not share your beliefs. I think the guidelines and moral principles that you and dad have taught me are excellent, and I thank you for that. I have so many great memories, and have really enjoyed your company when you came out to visit. This letter is very hard for me to write, but three issues you brought up must be addressed immediately.
First - Mrs. DIM and I have nothing to do with any problems you are having with DIMS sister. In fact, you and dad took great pains to keep her away from us when we really wanted her to visit on her way to NZ. I think DS is a brilliant, beautiful person, who at 17 is really trying to find herself. I have never talked to her about any of my thoughts about anything ? because she is a kid and should not be put into the middle. You can go on not believing that, but that is the truth.
Second ? please stop taking shots at people who may still be in contact with me and consider me a friend. I won?t go into names or discuss anything about my friends with you ? I truly hate the gossip culture that exists in your religion and I won?t give you anything to fuel that. We?ve heard how (and I quote here) ?DIM is a master apostate? and ?DIM is just following Mrs. DIM? and ?Oh, I wonder if he?ll start smoking now?, or even ?he sent us a demonic cd w/ a demonic album cover? and the list goes on and on. It is a truly bizarre attitude to take towards people ? instead of trying to find out what is going on, bury them into the ground. I find it very puzzling.
Third - In your letter you state that ?you won?t scare me back? ? yet over ½ a dozen times you imply that Jehovah is going to kill my entire family in the very near future. I do not share your beliefs and do not want you to ever again imply or state in any spoken or written form that my daughter will be killed . This is the only time I?m going to make this demand.
We love you mom, but sometimes the written word is harsher than you may have intended ? I know you only want the best for me, and it makes me happy that you care for me so much. I just do not share your views and I don?t think I ever will. I know it is easy for you to dismiss this due to ?bad association?, but I really don?t know what you are talking about ? we have no friends back home and do not speak to anyone really.
Sometimes I think that it would be easier for you if I fit into a certain category ? maybe the person who had a lot of problems after leaving and then came back..Instead I have turned into a 27 year old man with a beautiful family and I don?t do any drugs, have money problems, cheat on my wife, smoke, or even drink that much.. I am a man now, not a boy. I have tons of great memories growing up and I will not dwell on any negatives ? please accept me for who I am. In the past, I wouldn?t respond to your letters for the sake of keeping the peace, but from now on I will respond to each and every one of your letters because I am tired of having to apologize for who I am.
I hope you and dad are doing great and wish nothing but the best for you guys ? we?ll keep sending pictures of daughter as much as possible.
Love,
