What I loved about the majority of these quotes are the implications that an orthodox reader would be oblivious to.
You Are "a Theatrical Spectacle"! (Page 1)
Paragraph 5: "When you encounter opposition or think that your ministry is not getting results, remember that you are the center of universal attention."
THAT'S RIGHT: UNIVERSAL ATTENTION! (BUT OF COURSE, DON'T FORGET PSALM 8:4, IN CASE YOU EVER THINK YOU HAVE ANY IMPORTANCE OUTSIDE OF GOING IN FIELD SERVICE.)
How Important Is Christian Fellowship? (Page 1)
Paragraph 3: "Our Christian associates may call to our attention scriptures that address our personal concerns."
YES, HOW FINE AND UPBUILDING IT IS FOR FELLOW CHRISTIANS TO KEEP ON "MEDDLING WITH WHAT DOES NOT CONCERN THEM! (2 Thess. 3:11) THIS IS TRULY AN OUTSTANDING FEATURE OF OUR WORLDWIDE BROTHERHOOD!
Page 3: "Good Manners--A Trait of Godly People"
Paragraph 3: "Jesus Christ set the perfect example. He always practiced the Golden Rule: 'Just as you want men to do to you, do the same way to them.'"
YES, ALWAYS--EXCEPT FOR WHEN HE MOANED AND GROANED AT HIS MOTHER, VARIOUS PEOPLE SEEKING HEALING, HIS NOT-SO-PERFECT DISCIPLES AND ANY DUMMY WHO DIDN'T IMMEDIATELY REALIZE FROM HIS CLEAR AND DELIGHTFUL PARABLES THAT HE, SAY, WASN'T PROMOTING CANNIBALISM...
Paragraph 7: "After coming to a Kingdom Hall for the first time, a man said: 'I met more genuinely loving people, total strangers, in one day than I had ever met in the church in which I was raised. It was apparent that I had found the truth.'"
AN EFFECTIVE LOVE-BOMBING INDEED!
(THE BULK OF THE ARTICLE IS ABOUT WIPING YOUR SHOES, NOT CHEWING GUM, BEING ON TIME: MOSTLY KINDERGARTEN STUFF)
Page 8 is easy to sum up in terms of the thought process of the Writing Department.
"It's August. People actually take vacations."
"What should we tell the publishers?"
Article Title #1: "Keep Leisure In Its Proper Place"
Article Title #2: "Do You Want To Do More?"
(Hint: "Doing more" does not refer to camping, swimming or playing your acoustic guitar under an old oak tree.)
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