Okay, now the *sad* think about this list is that everything on it is absolutely 100% true with no exaggeration or hyperbole. (If you don't get it....well, you've obviously never been to Portland):
You know you are from Portland when?.
- You throw an aluminum can in the trash and feel guilty.
- You never go camping without water-proof matches and ponchos.
- You stand on a deserted street corner in the rain waiting for the light to change.
- You've ever ordered a half caff/decaf, nonfat mocha grande with sugar-free cranberry whip.
- The bride and groom registered at REI.
- Know at least eight people who work for Intel or used to work for Tektronix.
- You make $30,000 a year, yet still can't find a place to live.
- Know the vast differences between Coffee People, Torrefazione, and Starbuck's.
- You can list more than five reasons why Starbuck's is evil.
- You blame anything that is not right on ex-Californians.
- You remember the date, severity, time of day, where you were, and how long you were out of power for every winter weather event for the last five years.
- You know what and when the Columbus Day storm was. Bonus for having been there.
- You go to a coffee bar and see two guys get into a fight over who makes the best IPA.
- Own more than 10 articles of clothing that have microbreweries/brewpubs printed on them. Bonus for embroidered stuff.
- You know that Boring is a place, not an adjective to describe your job.
- You can point in the direction of two or more volcanoes even though you can't see them due to clouds.
- You have a bookstore, coffee bar, and brewpub within walking distance of your house.
- You can give a 30-minute monologue on infill and the Urban Growth Boundry.
- You think downtown is 'scary' because you were panhandled there once.
- When you drive out of town, every other guy in a pickup truck looks like the governor.
- When you drive out of town, even the Hondas have gun racks.
- You can name more than 10 kinds of berries and where to get them.
- You can name more than 10 beer styles and their hop profiles.
- When the weather gets above 50 degrees, you put on your shorts, but you still wear your hiking boots and parka.
- When the weather gets above 60 degrees, you replace your hiking boots with sandals.
- You can recount more than five anecdotes why the east side is a crime-infested jungle,
*OR*
You can list more than five reasons why the west side is a boring, snobby, white-bread suburb. - You know what is between the east side and the west side, and how to pronounce it.
- You know that Couch the street is not pronounced like the couch that you sit on.
- You are sitting at a red light surrounded by Subaru Legacy Outbacks.
- "Today's forecast, showers, followed by rain. Tomorrow: rain, followed by showers" doesn't faze you.
- You can't wait for a day with "showers and sunbreaks".
- You can go skiing after work.
- A tree or mudslide has ever damaged your house or car.
- You live equidistant to a symphony hall, a winery, and a volcano.
- Know the state flower (Mildew)
- Use the statement "sun breakand know what it means.
- Know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
- Know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
- Feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
- Consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is NOT a real mountain.
- Know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.
- Know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, and Willamette.
- Consider swimming an indoor sport.
- Can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.
- In winter, go to work in the dark and come home in the dark-while only working eight-hour days.
- Have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
- You notice "the mountain is outwhen it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
- Have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
- Think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
- Knew immediately that the view out of Frasier's window was FAKE.
- Buy new sunglasses every year, because you can't find the old ones after such a long time.
- You measure distance in hours.
- You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.
- You use a down comforter in the summer.
- You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.
- You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
- You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, (Winter), Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer) and Deer & Elk season (Fall).