Amost said a prayer

by Elsewhere 8 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Elsewhere

  Growing up I never really believed in the whole "Jehover, angels, Jebus, spirits, etc" thing. I just went along with everyone because I knew I would be rejected and shunned if I said that I did not believe.

  Over time I learned certain "instincts" that allowed me to live among the "faithful" without their catching on to my non-belief. One of my instincts that I learned was to expect to bow my head at the beginning and end of any "meeting". It literally became an unconscious reflex.

  Now, six years after leaving the bOrg, I find that reflex still showing up every now and then. Granted, not as often as it used to, but it is still there. The other day at work we were about to have our usual weekly group meeting, and as it began I felt the "bow your head" reflex start to kick in... and I literally had to make a conscious effort to keep my head up.

  This is a sure sigh of just how programmed people get when they are part of the "Organization". I am still working on deprogramming myself.
• 

  vitty

  We had some people round for a meal on saturday, non witness. I nearly asked my husband to say a prayer. I did stop myself but I noticed one did bow her head and said a silent prayer.

  I felt terrible, Here I was was someone whoes been in a religious org for 20 years ,telling others how to live and behave. A "wordly" person saying grace and I never say it.

  I wonder how many active witness pray when there not being observed?

  from "stuck up her own ass for 20 years class"
• 

  Satanus

  Do like joseph campbell said, thank the cow goddess for growing the cow, the wheat for growing and becoming bread, etc.

  I used to feel wierd when i did the public prayers at meetings. Like, i was talking to the audience, not god.

  S
• 

  gumby

  Now, six years after leaving the bOrg, I find that reflex still showing up every now and then. Granted, not as often as it used to, but it is still there.

  Ten years out and I still do the same thing off and on. I just the other day before I ate my meal.

  I want to say this. Everytime I pray and thank god for something or ask for a favor......I'm reminded of the world that suffers who also prays for relief. I figure...."why the hell will god answer me when there are millions who need him more than I do." These millions STILL suffer.....so I figure "what are the chances or the reason god will listen to me"?....and I stop praying. It hurts to feel this way,but it happens.

  Gumby
• 

  Scarlet

  We always prayed before we ate. I never really liked praying i never would close my eyes and would get talked to about it i would tell the brother if your eyes were closed you wouldn't know mine were opened. Half the time I didn't say Amen. When I got married we never prayed. When I am with my family and they pray i bow my head out of respect but still won't say amen to something I totally and uterly disagree with.
• 

  ChrisVance

  My family never did say grace before eating, although my mother is a fanatical witness.

  I always hated praying before meals and at the meetings, so I've never accidently bowed my head. My ex-wife used to like to critique my prayers, so I liked it even less.

  Some of those "brothers" could really get into it and make the audience feel like god was present in the hall. I always thought those prayers were ostentatious. Now I never pray 'cause I don't believe in god, however, I do give thanks to atheism regularly.
• 

  Carmel

  It's a sure SIGH alright!

  sigh,

  carmel
• 

  Purza

  Ten years out and I still do the same thing off and on. I just the other day before I ate my meal.

  Three years out and I still have that reflex to pray before I eat breakfast.

  I haven't prayed in almost four years (my own prayers, not the ones at the meetings) and I am not close to even trying to pray again.

  Purza
• 

  MungoBaobab

  Ever notice how God did a complete 180 on how to stand during prayer?

  Old School (Bible times): Keeling, eyes wide open, staring into the heavens, arms outstretched, palms held high.

  New School (Dub times): Standing, eyes closed, head bowed, arms down, hands folded.

  WTF?