Had a talk with my df'd friend

freedom96

I have a very close friend that I have known for 20 years. We both grew up as witnesses. I faded away, and about 6 years ago, he was df'd. Of course, they told him he was not to have contact with witnesses until he came back. He actually asked if he could keep in contact with me, being I had not been an active witness for years. Apparently they told him that he could not talk to me as I was not officially out.

About two years passed, and I decided to e-mail him. I told him, (this was nearly 4 years ago) that no matter what, I was his friend first, and quite frankly, I didn't care if they didn't want us to talk to each other, I was his friend, and I was here for him. I also told him that I understood if he felt that he could not talk to me, but either way, I would be here for him when he was ready. He immediately got back in touch with me, and we have our old friendship back.

He lives long distance, so I only get to see him a couple, maybe 3 times a year. Timing was just never right to talk about religion. But, the other day it happened.

I made a comment about our childhood, and I said something that referred to the religion. He said, oh yes, that is something we have not talked about yet.

By the time this topic came up, we were outside, it was cold, and the kids were waiting patiently in the car, but we talked for probably half an hour. Basically, like so many others, though he was df'd, he still believed it was the truth, though not doing anything about it. This was the first time I was able to talk to a childhood friend about what I really thought, and it suprised him. He listened though, and we talked about quite a few things, though I tried not to overwhelm him with too much info at once. He did agree that we could talk about it some more. I did give him some very good info to start with, perhaps it will give him something to think about.

We did agree, that no matter what, we would be friends for life, no matter who believed what.

It was really strange, but I hope that due to our talk, he can get rid of guilt, and truely allow himself to enjoy life, and all that it has to offer. I hope to provide much more information to him, and let him digest it at his own speed.

He was very social before, and misses a lot of the people in the organization. He needs to realize what it is like to have real friendship, one that won't judge you.

We will see what happens.

confusedjw

We will see what happens.

Well he has seen he has one real friend at least. Not conditional. Good for him, good for you

myself

You at least gave your friend some things to think about. So many who are df'd are still set on thinking that it is " the truth" but never get involved again, and are't sure why they don't get involved. I think that in the back of their minds they know there is something wrong with things, they just can't figure out what it is. I hope you have helped your friend.

karategirl

Good luck. you are right to take it easy though. It took me almost seven years to finally realize it was not the truth even though I had already realized that certain things could not be right. Such as the role of women.

It is so much to digest and admit it is not the truth. Many do spend years not going back and feeling like it is because they are not good enough even though deep down they know it is really because they are happier.

If ever there comes a day when he may think he needs to go back I hope he still talks to you. However, if he doesn't or things change, just remember that you were a true friend and that is what was important. If he wants he knows you are there.

KG

redhotchilipepper

I'm glad to hear that you reunited with your old friend. Give it time. You did well in talking to him. Hopefully he will think about what you said, digest it and come back with some questions. The deprogramming process might be beginning. You go girl.