Hello folks
Just to let you know the latest on our family situation - and ask for advice. To re-cap, my husband's mother is the only JW in the family. He was raised a JW but has had little contact with his former(JW)friends since he married me and left the religion. And through my research of his religion and the Bible I became a born-again Christian, (possibly of the variety commonly known as 'fundy' - I'm not too sure how you define it), but he seems reasonably happy about this, honest .
Anyway, from our first meeting I was really concerned about his involvement in the JW's, mainly because of the blood issue. I was an atheist and didn't know anything about them or the bible until I started researching on the internet. I shared the info I found with him and he eventually agreed that he'd been brought up in a, for want of a better word, cult. I felt that we had to tell his mother (I know, fools rush in), but any attempts brought the usual pre-programmed responses.
So, we tried the Steve Hassan technique - regular contact, presents, build up rapport, etc. then plant doubts. When we got to the final stage, the doubt-planting often turned into heated discussions. So I tried a different tack - letter-writing. I wrote about my research into similar organisations, like the Mormons, in the hope that she would make the connection that they use the same techniques.
There was no response, so another letter was sent. This resulted in a phone call from an angry mother, complaining about these 'condescending' letters. They hadn't included any references to JW's, so there was no rational reason for getting angry. Obviously, she had made the connection. And by getting angry she was acknowledging that the JW's use the same mind control techniques as the other cults I mentioned. But she denied this in the conversation.
My husband took the call, then went out leaving me a note about it. Apparently, he then started asking didn't she think the WT used the same tactics and saying that the letters seemed condescending because they were written like the WT. Ok, so he wasn't very tactful...
The first letter she had treated with disdain. The second letter was a bit more obvious and got into specifics like apostates, and relayed how a Mormon discovered that the bible didn't say she had to work for an organisation to be saved.
What do you think? Should I call her back and apologise for upsetting her - and ask what exactly it was that upset her as the letters included people's true stories. And then leave it at that? Not call at all and pretend nothing's happened?
We will continue to visit, offer gifts and attempt to be supportive whatever the eventual outcome. As far as possible, we will try to keep the family together.
But in a sense these confrontations have been helpful for my husband. He's finally been able to tell his mother what he thinks about the JW's. He was always too scared of hurting her feelings in the past (or being disfellowshipped), and used to listen to her proselytising without commenting. She thinks nothing of sending WT literature to us, but refused to discuss the bible with me once she realised I could refute her position. After 30 yrs of supposedly studying it she understandably finds this disturbing. It seems that she can try to convert us, but it's a shock when the literature flow becomes 2-way.
If you've stayed awake this far, thanks for reading !!
Love
Sunbeam
xxx
PS Having read this through, I think I sound like a self-righteous so-and-so trying to save the infidel. I'm genuinely concerned from a non-religious standpoint too. She is isolated from her family because her religious zeal has alienated them. She is a clever woman but has denied herself a life so that she can knock on doors and, as you would expect, works part-time. The story is so familiar, isn't it?