How many people ...

by BlackSwan of Memphis 8 Replies latest jw friends

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  BlackSwan of Memphis

  How many of you have gotten so unbelievably depressed when you realised how trapped you were? When you realised that your whole school life could have been spent preparing you for a world you were totally unprepared for? When you realised it was your sanity or else? How many of you longed for the days you could go back to the minute before you read a newspaper article that made you rethink your entire life? The second before you opened coc or any other 'apostate' lit.? The days when it seemed so much simpler to look at the stupid publications and say "well, if it came from the society"? Sometimes, I just wish I could go back.... It's just, even if I could, I know that I would still read that article, that book. I remember sitting in a library years ago and out of curiosity picked up a book about jw's and it mentioned the problem with the chronology. For so long I fought it and I thought I beat it out. Ha. You guys that da'ed were df'ed and that was that... wow, I look at you as (this is going to sound incredibly silly) heros. But, how many of you really had a tough time and how many of you never looked back?

  (maybe the hero thing is silly, but I don't know anyone else except the people on this board who are exjw and proof that life continues, to me... this is a lifeline)
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  gypsywildone

  There are a lot of heroes on this board. Heroes of all kinds, but what makes them all heroes is their drive to succeed & overcome the obstacles. Most probably went through different stages of recovery at different times, but it takes work. Don't give up, you can lead a happy life!
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  Carmel

  never thought of myself as a hero, just someone that refused to allow my family to coerce me into something I didn't identify with. The day of my baptism, age 12, I gained the certitude that the JW sales pitch was a house built on sand. It took over two years to get away physically, but it was the best decision and the scariest one in my life. I don't know how I survived the events without becoming really screwed up. There just happened to be the right people in my life (angels) at the right time to give me the encouragement to keep on keeping on! A school bus driver that bailed me out of county jail, a juvenile councellor that too my side and got me a college sholarship, a lady who wanted me to date her daughter, all had a hand in tweaking this or that element of my process. They are the heros. They went out of their way to give the unasked for help. Life has been that way for neigh on to 45 years sence that initial decision. No I'm not the hero, they were. I just hope I have been an angel for someone else in their journey.

  carmel
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  free will

  i ,like you looked into things out of curiosity. when i did, the blinders came off instantaneously. i've never wished to go back in time. because, who i was then, is part of who i am now. that's the hard part, figuring out who i am now, without all the guidelines. i still question what things i still believe in. for now i'm comfortable with the belief in god. emotionally, i'm not up to delving deep for any other answers..
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  seven006

  I have spent the last 20 years reading, discussing, and thinking about my life before and after being a JW. I've learned enough, I'm done learning. Now I watch South Park religiously. It makes more sense then my whole life has.

  Dave
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  seeitallclearlynow

  Now I watch South Park religiously.

  How funny Seven! I've just recently "discovered" South Park too. I love it! Can't believe I intentionally avoided it all this time!
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  Elsewhere

  How many of you have gotten so unbelievably depressed when you realised how trapped you were?

  I seriously considered suicide. I even "practiced" a few times with a plastic bag over my head.
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  seeitallclearlynow

  ((((Elsewhere)))) Sorry.

  I felt that way about being trapped in an unhappy marriage. But not about the religion. How sad!
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  seven006

  Seeit,

  I use to refuse to let my sons watch it when it first came out. My oldest son, who was in his teens at the time, told me I shouldn't condemn it unless I knew what it was like. I couldn't argue with that logic so I forced myself to watch a few episodes. Now I laugh and talk about the last episodes with my more intellectually inclined friends who are also hooked. It's like an anti-taking-yourself-too-serious drug.

  Dave