Back when i was 16 i graduated from highschool two years early. I started at a school that most are firmilar with: DeVry institute of technology. During the course of my studies...my counselor informed me that i needed to pay off my student loan for my BOOKS by the end of the second month or the school would've kicked me out. Being Naive as i was back then...i agreed and started hunting for a job..parttime. As a result i ended up in Hollywood with a radio broadcasting job. I would not only recieve the job but also 'hands on training' and education needed to go further with it. I would be paid 200.00 per show...and had to do at least 7 shows a week. (For those that don't know me...this is my DREAM JOB) I would become an 'independant producer..' and since i had completed high school...and still minor...i had to work part time. ...my intentions were not in anyway to quit DeVry...but it was the second month and i needed to make money FAST and this oppertunity arrived and gave me the ability to not only make enough money for my books...but also launch another career that i could've enjoyed more so then Electronic Engineering. I would school in the morning...drive to LA (1 hour) in the afternoon...work..and learn...and drive home for dinner and studies. This was AMAZING.. My father on the other hand was against it. My mother or my father (can't remember) are not Jehovah's Witness'...but I was. They (although i think it was my mother) informed me that if i took the job...not to come back home. I HAD to take this job...because i felt as my counselor told me...i would get kicked out of DeVry if i didn't pay off my books. I told my father that he was a hypocrite for everything...and has put me in a horrible position. I was damned if i took the job...and damned if i didn't. My parents would NOT have enjoyed the fact that i was thrown out of college. As a result...i was thrown out before my decision could've even been decided. I couldn't go to any of the brothers in my area because i was 'spiritually weak.' I called up a brother that i knew in Texas ...who picked me up 2 days later...i was homeless without any way to ...go to school...or whatever. But because the brother HELPED ME...he was despised. I left...had to drop school for the sake of shelter.
I am now 22...I am no longer a jw and my father is deceased. My mother has been pushing me to go to college again...which i finally agreed. We decided to go to San Juaquin Valley College in Ca ...so i may get my associates degree in business. This is a private college and offers great oppertunities in the field of business....and once again i thought perhaps the music business might look promising. All the paper work was filed...everything completed EXCEPT ...a signature for the loan from my mother. She wanted to 'discuss the matter with my brother' who is still in the organization. Not only does my brother hate me...but finds any reason to go become the advocate against me. So ...like a dog he barked at my mother at how she shouldn't waste her money and insinuated that i will fail and never graduate. Mind you, my mother is the only thing keeping me in this house...because she is not really a 'jw.' My brother if i may add...has a bachelors degree in Electronic Engineering and is currently teaching partime at a school. He is roughly about 3 years older then i am. As a result...I am unable to attend this college...because my mother pretty much has been convinced that i'm a failure. I TOLD him...that i was kicked out of this HOUSE and of ALL people he should understand what that feels like, as to why i didn't complete DeVry. The animosity lingers in from every aspect ...the moment he arrives...the moment...he sleeps...the moment when he leaves...etc...etc..He really HATES ME...and as a result...i am unable to attend this college now and ...i don't qualify for grants. I despise religion so much.
I really don't have a point to this...but i needed to get it out...
~FiveShadows