I have had a hard time wrapping my head around everything I've learned about the JW's. I had no idea. I must have been insane to not see the signs when I was with my ex. What can I say?? Now I have more questions than answers. First of all, I want to thank you all for your contributions to this website and putting your experiences out there. I've found in my life talking about things, either in person or in cyberspace, seems to help alot. I hope you don't mind about my questions.
My ex has been taking our son to his meetings, I want to know what my son is experiencing. Can someone like me just go into the same KH & observe?? Or do I have to be invited? Do they have these meetings in KH's all the time? I've asked my son if he plays while in church, he says no. He's only 4 so I don't expect alot, but he's starting to talk more. Of course his dad & family is teaching him that my beliefs are wrong...which is why I started looking. I do take him to my church, he is learning another side. My ex has NEVER witnessed to me, never tried, never brought it up, asking him would be like talking to the wall.
He told me, in a previous rant, that he was only teaching our son "truth" from the bible. So I asked him to point out the truth that said it was bad to celebrate birthdays, etc. the usual questions. Of course he couldn't, but assured me it was true. I told him I don't believe anything anyone tells me as the truth until such times they can prove it to me....anyway, he did mention a book that he had our son studying (Ok..he's only 4...whatever) Where can I get this book?? I asked him to let me see it, but like everything else when we converse, he just smiles & nods his head. I told him I did not want my son baptised a JW and he shook his head & said "no no no" as if I just asked him to jump off a bridge. He also said that if our son decided to be a Catholic, that would be fine with him. It was my turn to smile & nod my head. He tends to tell me what he thinks I want to hear
My Ex seems to pick & choose which part of this religion best applies to him. I know he does the meeting thing on Tuesdays, he's all but told me that, but he listens to all kinds of music, watches whatever movie (they had Farenheit 9/11 in the house the other day) and pretty much does what he wants. Maybe it's a more liberal congregation he attends, I don't know. I'm pretty sure he's not baptised, he was not practicing when we were together. He's doing what they want him to do, going thru the motions if you will, but I don't think his heart is in it...it wasn't before...but in the same vein he is forcing his beliefs on my son to the detriment of my son. He doesn't care, so long as "they" are happy with him, he doesn't care who it hurts.
He's SO not the head of his household--he lives with his parents. He married Attila the Hun, in that when I try to talk to him about our son, she jumps in there, tells me what I do wrong, what a bad person I am, etc while he sits there like a lump. She's just a wee bit insecure. I don't get anywhere trying to talk to him as she feels the need to manipulate anything I try to talk about and since we split up and he married Atilla, he won't talk to me AT ALL anymore. He never told me he was getting married, that he was married, that she was preggo or even that the baby was born. Nothing, it's like being in the room with a stranger. I've tried & tried to be civil but I cannot with this woman around. She does not leave his side. I should add that on the rare occasion he comes without her, he's back to his "normal" self with me & my daughter. It's so confusing! They've even taken to encouraging my son to call her mom. Which is direct violation of our custody order, but he doesn't care. If I say "don't" he does it anyway. Yes, I know I need to go back & have that handled, which is part of my reason for being here. I must gather as much information as I can to show why I don't want my son raised as a JW. Is it part of their "rules" he not be alone with me or her insecurities that won't allow it?
About these conventions, can I just go or do I have to be with a JW?? I'm so tempted to call for a study so I can "get in there" & figure out more. I'm so strong willed & I'm pretty sure there is no way they can sway me into their mind control. Apart from dealing with idiot boy (ok I call him dickhead) I've got a very supportive family, I have 2 kids, my own home, & I'm pretty successful in my life. I don't need them. (My dad told me when I was younger he knew I could never follow in his footsteps & join the Military as I couldn't take orders!!) My ex, however, married someone he knew for 6 months and they both live with his parents (who also hate me) and just had their own kid. I know he's unhappy, I don't care, but I know he's unhappy...I can see it in his eyes. He went back to make his parents happy, he married for the same reason, they hated me, hated him being with me, even now when I go over there to collect my son, they scatter like cockroaches.
Anyway, thanks for putting up with the questions. I know I have more...hopefully I won't drive anyone crazy. I just want to know what my son is going through. He hates going to his dad's house it's always a fight even tho it's been a year since the custody was determined. He's been acting out so much lately, and I can only assume that's because of the baby. Not that I know this as I cannot talk to the walking void that is my ex.
Hope I don't sound too pathetic..there is so much more but not enough webspace!!
SK of the OMG is she done yet?? class