Shunned? Be Nice and Keep Trying!

by metatron 6 Replies latest jw experiences

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  metatron

  A couple years ago, I bumped into a chronically ill brother in a store. He was friendly initially but backed away from me quickly

  when he heard I barely attend any meetings.

  I ran into him again last week. We chatted for quite a awhile about doing work on our houses. I never brought up anything

  about the "truth" and he seemed a lot friendlier and relaxed.

  I know his congregation has declining attendance - maybe that's influenced him. Or maybe he forgot to shun me, I don't know.

  Anyway, don't give up! Remember all those fine principles you learned about "letting your light shine" and convincing them

  that "this is the 'truth'"? That being nice and kind can motivate people to change?

  Well, guess what? THOSE THINGS WORK IN REVERSE MODE, TOO! Let them see how happy and healthy you are

  ( since you left the 'truth'). Avoid all controversies and debates. LET THEM draw the conclusion that life outside of the

  organization can be good ( and that lightning doesn't strike!). If you must reply to some statement about the 'truth', try to

  be subversive about it. ( "Yeah, it's too bad about the young people leaving. Maybe the Society will change things some day")

  Don't give up! ( someday, THEY MIGHT GIVE UP!)

  metatron
• 

  Purza

  Let them see how happy and healthy you are ( since you left the 'truth').

  I totally agree with this. About a month ago I ran into an elder that really held me up in the years before I faded. I even followed him to another KH. I saw him at a restaurant and he shunned me (I am not DF'd). When we were leaving and he was driving past, I put my arm around my teenage daughter and smiled at her -- I would have done it anyway, but I wanted him to see me and know (deep down inside) that I was truly happy. Cause I really am!

  Purza
• 

  franklin J

  yes, Metatron, I agree with you.

  I have done the same; and happy to let others know how well I am doing OUTSIDE of the Jehovahs Witnesses. It unerves them.
• 

  rebel8

  I used to have a friend know this JW who had been DFd something like 3x and reinstated each time. She used to claim that each time she'd be "out", she'd lose weight because of all her anxiety, and whenever she was "in", she'd gain it back because she was "so happy". Yeah, OK Maureen. Maybe it was the total lack of pleasure in the JW life except eating. (Did you guys ever notice that every JW social event centers on food?)
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  imnottheonlyone!

  I think it really irritates them to see us so happy! The best revenge is happiness!

  D
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  jwbot

  Yeah it bugs me when people assume I am depressed or unhappy...I was that when I was a witness!
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  Neo

  That really works! Everytime I stumble by a dub and they ask about me, I say I'm doing wonderfully fine! By the way, that's 100% true; I've never been better since I faded.

  By saying this, they have a lot of food for thought. Cognitive dissonance shows up and they have to deal with the fact that there is Happiness outside the so-called "happiest people on earth."

  Neo