A Fitting Description of how MANY elders view their "sheep"

by HadEnuf 7 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  HadEnuf

  I came across these couple of paragraphs while reading a book by Jon Katz titled "The Dogs of Bedlam Farm". I just couldn't help thinking that this was how many of the elders I knew seemed to view the "precious" sheep that they had authority over. Just thought I'd share my thoughts on this...my presumptions are in red. Mr. Katz's words are in black.

  ?Sadly, I (an elder talking here) couldn?t work up the same admiration or affection for my sheep. I liked them best when they were grazing happily, peaceable things, incapable of harm (sheep in congregation shouldn't "make waves"). Otherwise, I couldn?t feel much connection.

  Partly it was their flocking nature. Sheep by definition lack individuality (encouraged by those guys in New York); their survival depends on group behavior (conform or be punished). They move like schools of fish, each keeping a wary eye on all the others (we were taught to report any "bad" behavior to the elders. Every JW needed to be a good spy). This is good news for border collies (ELDERS), who quickly learn they can control the many by intimidating a few (yup, the good old back room at the KH used for interrogation purposes). But it doesn?t touch me (apathetic elders). Some shepherds I know adore their sheep (hello? Who are these elders?), giving them names, spotting distinctive personality quirks and traits (not a good thing for a JW. Don't stand out). I couldn?t tell most of mine apart (some elders don't even remember your name). The only exception were the hefty, rambunctious Nesbitt (a JW most likely to be reproved, disciplined or DF'd), an unusually wooly ewe whose curly fleece inspired me to name her Paula, after my curly-haired wife, and Minnie, an elder ewe who moved slowly (do elders really care about the elderly JW's? I think not). Otherwise they seemed interchangeable (Borg mentality)?.they had lifeless eyes (I know I did)?We coexisted.?

  Any thoughts on this? It just kind of gave me icky goose-bumps thinking about the correlation between these words and the JW mentality.

  An EX-SHEEP...baaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Cathy L.
• 

  xjw_b12

  HE. Yeah that's spooky. But once you've shed the bonds of borgdom, you'll see those parallels in a lot of things.

  Heck wifey and I watched the movie "King Arthur" the other night, and we just came glancing at each other over situations that were so JWish/Cultish and people just blinded followed what their "leaders" them to do.

  Good post

  "Religion is the worship and service of the Devil and his associate demons .... Religion is the chief means that puts fear into the minds of the people and leads them into the Devil's snare .... Truly then, as stated, 'religion is a snare and a racket,' employed to collect money from them under false representations." Joseph Rutherford Watchtower, Jan. 15 1940, Page 29
• 

  XBEHERE

  HadEnuf that is a very interesting passage and sadly much of your comments are true. Believe it or not, there are elders out there who sincerely care about the "sheep" but they are rare. I will be honest and tell you that most elders are indeed apathetic and I will tell you why.
  

  You see elders are tired and weary... even more than most in the cong. Many think that elders take joy in having meetings, "gossipping" about publishers, they just love being on stage giving parts, giving counsel, etc. the truth is all of that sucks.

  Many, but not all, become elders because they feel it is the truth and want to serve their brothers. When these realize that the elder body is highly imperfect and political they either have to conform and become power hungry themselves and transform into the elders that we all "love" and know or simply step aside and become "sheep" again. This takes time and apathy sets in for sure.

  Then there are some who remain for family or appearances sake and who cringe at every single elders meeting because they feel sadness, sorrow, and regret over some of the things that they have to do, are forced to do. These... well they eventually end up here full of regret and despair, looking for help.

  Don't pre-judge all of the elders... some are trapped due to circumstance and may not be strong enough mentally or emotionally to escape right away. Rest assured that these do care but are too wrapped up in their own situation in dealing with thier view of "the truth" to be of much help to the sheep. It is truly a complex and stressful situation that you have to experience to fully understand.
• 

  HadEnuf

  xjw_b12...thanks for your comments. I always did love that "religion is a snare and a racket" quote. Maybe that's why after over 4 decades as a JW I'm not too keen on religion anymore.

  XBEHERE...I appreciate your comments too. Sounds like you may have had experience in the elder area yourself. I guess my feelings about elders stems from the very abusive and self-righteous attitude of, I would say, 95% of the elders in the congregation my husband and I attended. The lack of love for the sheep was overwhelming to me and there was not one elder that I would have ever chosen to approach for counsel. In fact...it was this unloving, self-righteous, dogmatic group that directly led to our leaving the org.

  The few "good" elders didn't last too long in many congregations that I could see. They were bullied into "conforming" to the ways of the elders that held the power. In fact, in our congregation, we had a small "dynasty" of elders all from the same family. Over the many years we attended the KH in our small town, they became more and more like Pharisees and less and less like Christ.

  I can see that perhaps I have overlooked some of the elders that do try to help the "sheep". But I still believe they are far and few between. My husband, who spent many years as a MS...was always asked to become an elder at one time or another. He was smart enough to know that he didn't want the responsibility of other's lives in his hands. He did not want to sit in judgement of other people. He did not want to become like the "Pharisees" in our congregation. He was able to maintain his personal integrity and love for people. He retained his clean conscience.

  If an elder is a person of integrity and love and a caring person, as you said, he soon realizes that he must obey the governing body and go along with the majority. That sometimes means going against his own conscience. Soon he is "assimilated" along with the rest of the elders who bow and scrape before the men who control the org.

  Don't pre-judge all of the elders... some are trapped due to circumstance and may not be strong enough mentally or emotionally to escape right away. Rest assured that these do care but are too wrapped up in their own situation in dealing with thier view of "the truth" to be of much help to the sheep. It is truly a complex and stressful situation that you have to experience to fully understand.

  Men who are not "strong mentally or emotionally to escape right away" and "are too wrapped up in their own situation" have no business being elders and controlling the lives of others. I have even seen cases close to my heart where, because of the unloving and dogmatic abuse of power by the elders, a couple of people have taken their own lives. Maybe that is why I do not have much "love" for elders. If there are any loving elders out there they won't last. The unbending rules and regulations of the Watchtower society will eat them alive and take away their very soul.

  Cathy L.
• 

  XBEHERE

  Men who are not "strong mentally or emotionally to escape right away" and "are too wrapped up in their own situation" have no business being elders and controlling the lives of others.

  This is my whole point. The elder arrangement is a sham! They shouldnt be elders... there shouldnt be ANY elders. To much room for error since as I mentioned above, some of the elders have worse problems they are dealing with themselves. Its also social pressure... being an elder in an environment such as the JW's puts you in a socially high position that is not easy to give up, or for your wife and family to give up. Is it morally right to think that way, OF COURSE NOT! HadEnuf it is a sham pure and simple. I am truly sorry for what those pharissee's did to you and your family.
• 

  Gill

  They certainly know how to bully and are themselved bullied.

  I can think of one particular elder, and his wife went to see an elderly sister who had not attended meetings for months. She suffered badly with her nerves because of many family members dying of cancer and she had become reclusive and anxious. Once a week 'Age Concern' would pick her up in their bus and take her to 'Age Concern' for her lunch and socialising.

  The elder and his wife went to visit her and laid into her about how Jehovah should come first not herself and her selfish worries and anxieties. If she could go to the 'Age Concern' centre then she should go to the KH since that was more important than Age Concern. They complained that this old lady was crying bitterly when they left. The wife said she thought it was because they had 'shook her up and put some sense into her, to put Jehovah first.' They were sick of brothers who always 'thought about themselves first and not Jehovah'. I don't think that's why she was crying!

  This same couple did not know that the husband , the elder, was already dying of cancer. The other elders in the congregation were a bleeding lazy bunch who did not want to go out on field service on Sundays and appointed him to take all the Sunday field service meetings. The brother was sicker and sicker even to the point of passing out when giving public talks and taking fields service. His wife complained of how they would not take his responsibilities off him even though he was obviously ill.

  He ended up in hospital and died of cancer a couple of weeks later. Whilst in hospital the PO gave a talk on how elders should not be so proud and selfish as to keep up their responsibilities and priviliges even though they are ill.

  This was noted by my family as a pointed remark at our dying relative.

  The fault lay in two places:

  1)No way would the wife of this elder have allowed him to stop being an elder because of the social status. It would never have happened.

  2)The other elders bully and intimidate eachother because they don't really want their responsibilities just the title and social status. They, on the whole don't give two hoots for the sheep never mind eachother!

  Dumb Asses all of them.
• 

  HadEnuf

  Thanks XBEHERE for those thoughtful comments. I know that at times I group certain people together and am guilty of a form of prejudice that includes the whole group when in actuality, there are some good ones in the group. 'Tis a failing of mine. I guess when it comes to elders...I don't always think too kindly! But I appreciate your input.

  Gill...It is very eerie how your story correlates with much of my experience with the elders. I have experienced extreme (well...to me anyway) health problems for a long time and got absolutely NO sympathy or empathy from any elders. At least nothing that I felt was heartfelt. One of my last experiences with the CO and a local elder, was when they "dropped by" on me (while I was home alone) and came to give me their usual form of comfort...browbeating and laying a guilt trip on me. The very worst thing that the CO said to me (proving his low IQ)...was to give the illustration (though a true story) of a young sister who had committed fornication and had a guilty conscience. She was put on antidepressants because of her state of mind and the elders "advised" her that she didn't need antidepressants as her depression was the result of her previously unconfessed sin. As soon as she confessed the fornication and begged for forgiveness in front of a judicial committee...her depression miraculously bit the dust. OH YEAH...like that REALLY happened.

  BUT...what a cruel and totally out of line illustration to give me about depression and how I might be depressed because of some secret sin I must have committed. Hello? I was depressed mainly because of the years and years of mistreatment and ignorance of elders who don't give a flying fart about the "sheep". As soon as they left I broke into tears and must have cried for an hour or more. When my husband heard of this (I called him as soon as they departed my abode and I sprayed the place with air freshener)...he hit the proverbial roof and from then on it was downhill and good riddance to the JW's. This act of brutality was then later accompanied by the elder body marking my son, without due warning, and the rest of the story is history (which I have posted and is told in "The Best Of" section...golly gee...I'm so honored)!

  Thanks Gill for reinforcing my exact thoughts about ELDERDUMB.

  Cathy L.

  P.S. Excuse my use of the smiley things...I just can't help myself.
• 

  Gill

  Hi again, HadEnuf,

  It seems these heartless experiences are commonplace in JW land. Sorry for your experiences but the one good thing about these dumb elders is that they wake some people up so that they get to leave the bOrg a lot quicker than they would have.

  Even having been through these experiences my self though, I wonder how it took so long for us to leave.

  We must have been pretty dumb ourselves!