by mkr32208 7 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
If I tell my wife she has to help with the holidays and participate even if it's under duress she has to right? Anybody got any idea where I can find that in writing?
I thought I remembered seeing something about it but I can't find it now and I've been looking for hours!
I have read that the wife must comply, don't remember where, but if you force her into doing this she will really resent you for it. So tread carefully. Good luck
Dragonlady76
December 15, 2001 Question from Readers
How
can a Christian wife balance loyalty to God with submission to her unbelieving husband if he shares in religious holiday activities?Her doing so will require wisdom and tact. But she is doing the right thing in striving to balance her two obligations. Jesus gave counsel about a parallel situation: "Pay back, therefore, Caesar?s things to Caesar, but God?s things to God." (Matthew 22:21) Granted, he was dealing with obligations to governments, to which Christians were later told to be in submission. (Romans 13:1) Yet, his counsel finds a parallel in a wife?s balancing her obligations to God with her Scriptural submission to her husband, even if he is an unbeliever.
No one familiar with the Bible would deny that it stresses that a Christian?s first obligation is to Almighty God, to be loyal to him at all times. (Acts 5:29) Still, in many situations a true worshiper can accommodate the requests or demands of an unbeliever in authority while not sharing in a violation of God?s elevated laws.
We find an instructive example in the three Hebrews, as related in Daniel chapter 3. Their governmental superior, Nebuchadnezzar, decreed that they and others present themselves on the plain of Dura. Realizing that false worship was scheduled, the three Hebrews would likely have preferred to avoid being there. Perhaps Daniel was able to excuse himself, but these three could not. So they complied to the extent of appearing, but they would not?and did not?share in any wrong act.?Daniel 3:1-18.
Similarly, around holiday times an unbelieving husband might request or demand that his Christian wife do something she would like to avoid. Consider some examples: He tells her to cook a certain food on the day he and others will celebrate a holiday. Or he demands that the family (including his wife) visit his relatives on that day for a meal or simply as a social call. Or even prior to the holiday, he might say that while his wife is out shopping, she must make some purchases for him?foods unique to the holiday, items to use as presents, or wrapping paper and cards to use with his gifts.
Again, the Christian wife ought to be determined not to share in false religious acts, but what about such requests? He is the family head, and God?s Word says: "You wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as it is becoming in the Lord." (Colossians 3:18) In these cases, can she show wifely subjection while being loyal to God? She must decide how to balance obedience to her husband with her overriding obedience to Jehovah.
At other times, her husband may ask her to cook a certain food, whether because it is his favorite or because he is used to having that meal in a particular season. She will desire to show love for him and recognition of his headship. Could she do so even if he made the request on the occasion of a holiday? Some Christian wives might be able to do so with a good conscience, simply considering it as a normal task of preparing the daily meal. Certainly, no loyal Christian would attach any holiday significance to it, even if her husband did. Similarly, he might require her to be with him when he visits his relatives at various times each month or year. Could she do so even if it was the day of a holiday? Or would she normally be willing to purchase things at his request, without judging what he intends to do with the items she buys for him while doing her shopping?
Of course, a Christian wife should think of others?the effect on them. (Philippians 2:4) She would like to avoid giving any impression that she is linked to the holiday, just as the three Hebrews may likely have preferred that others not see them traveling to the plain of Dura. So she might tactfully try to reason with her husband to see if, out of consideration for her feelings, he might do certain holiday-related things for himself to accommodate a wife who loves and respects him. He might see the wisdom of not putting both of them in a potentially embarrassing situation if she would have to refuse to engage in false religious acts. Yes, calm discussion beforehand might lead to a peaceful solution.?Proverbs 22:3.
In the final analysis, the faithful Christian must weigh the facts and then decide what to do. Obedience to God must come first, as it did with the three Hebrews. (1 Corinthians 10:31) But with that in mind, the individual Christian has to decide what noncompromising things can be done at the request of one having authority in the family or in the community.
[Footnote]
See "Questions From Readers" in The Watchtower of August 1, 2001.
I think it might be in the "secrets of family heartache happiness" book, too.
She will feel conflicted (as I did) but don't give up on your stance. Celebrate everything!
How well I remember this '01 WT article. We were long-time dubs then, and stunned to see this in print. More than a few friends speculated that the WT was going to ease restrictions on holiday celebrations with worldly families and that this was the first crack in the wall. But of course there was no further clarification and dubs were left to sort this out for themselves. The result was that most dubs have never even read this, and most of them would argue tooth and nail with you if you brought this up, until you showed it to them in print. At that point, they'd shift into cult mental mode and reason (?) that this was probably a new loving provision from the "slave" to spare these poor sisters w unbelieving mates further duress... but it sure as hell doesn't pack any principles or guidelines for the rest of the flock.
We had a relatively new sister in the hall in 2002 whose hubbie had studied for a short time and decided he wasn't interested. He was pissed that they had to stop celebrating Christmas. She used this article to jump into the holidays with both feet, putting up a tree and buying gifts for their little kids, shifting all responsibility to her husband. Bunch of friends stopped by out in service one day to see her (I mean, use her bathroom) and were upset at all the decorations. This was duly reported to the elders and we were all herded into the library after a service meeting one night. Two older fellows wanted the body to form a committee. The PO read from the magazine, which was now a year old. It was clear some of the elders were seeing this info for the first time and were uncomfortable with it. One of them was her bookstudy conductor, who had already taken her aside and read her the riot act. The body decided there was no action that could be taken in view of the WT article.
Interestingly, this sister didn't get to another meeting for months after this. I suspect it was because of the chewing out from her study conductor. Maybe she thought an elder ought to be up to speed on what the FDS was printing! Or perhaps she just really enjoyed celebrating Christmas.
But she is doing the right thing in striving to balance her two obligations.
translation - we're clueless in this corner of our doctrine but good luck to her if she manages to please both her husbands - ie. him and us.
Jesus gave counsel about a parallel situation: "Pay back, therefore, Caesar?s things to Caesar, but God?s things to God."
Boy that's weak - so there's the foundation lie for the rest of the article , "Jesus gave counsel about a parallel situation" Really? Sounded to me like he said straight out what to do.
And that's as far as I go remaining unnauseated reading - a couple lines is enough
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I wish id had this article 20 years ago instead of inflicting MY beliefs on my husband
i loved christmas but this was my proof i was loyal, roles reversed i would have told my husband to %¤¤#""¤ off how did he put up with me
He also came in the org few years later, to keep me , now he tells me !!!!!!!!!!!!
I have never read this info very interesting
Thanks guys!
I don't give a flying f*ck at the moon if she's resentfull and upset! I'm tired of this fading S*it she knows this is garbage and tells me right to my face "I know its wrong but I don't care I won't give up my family" Well her family associates just fine with her younger brother who is out who celebrates everything who smokes and lives with his girlfriend (she's never been a witness heck she's never been in a kh!) So this year the s*it will be hitting the fan!!! I'm planning a family trip to disney for halloween and the B*tch is going to be there IN costume or she's gonna be sitting in the grayhound terminal! Christmas oh yeah you better freaking believe it I'll give her all her gifts in brown paper bags then it will be ok!!!!!
I love you guys...
ps I'm not really as big an a$$ as this sounds just tired tonight! Thanks again for the info!
