Adam my hero
This poor guy called Adam (no surname) Starts his life as the only human on the planet with no mother or father, brother or sisters or grandparents. He wanders around unaware that he is naked and could do with a little support. Being first is good but it can get lonely. Alcohol has not been invented and a good steak is out of the question, so he wanders around naming animals. Shops have not yet been invented - but then again neither have women. One day he wakes up to find himself one rib short of a ribcage. He then meets the only woman in the world, who is genetically his twin sister, but God who is spying on him 24/7 tells him it?s ok to have ?knowledge? of her. The poor guy is a virgin and has no mates to get advice from. Anyway our hero manages to overcome his inhibitions and fathers the human race.
His sister ,who is now his wife, has been off flirting with a snake, who has a good chat up line. Adam is encouraged to relax over an apple! (I went scrumping as a kid unaware that eating he wrong apple could plunge the world into darkness but unlike Adam I came from a long line of cunning a devious survivors with thousands of years to learn the eleventh commandment.) The eleventh command is - don?t get caught. That?s a tall order when God is following you round the only garden in the world, which he happens to own.
Now this hapless fellow find himself responsible for all the sins of mankind and God shuns him. This is just the begging of a wonderful bestseller called ?The Bible.? From there on it goes downhill. Any one ho calls out the ?right name? can live forever but Adam is totally stuffed. As he has died for his sin he is unable to call on the name. He won?t be resurrected because because he was born perfect. If he was born perfect, how come he****** up so badly. Did anyone tell him that biting an apple was going to lead to billions of people suffering and dying. Of course he blamed the woman who ?gave it to him.? We assume this was a reference to the apple. Eve for her part is now responsible for all the pains of childbirth for millennia. Why would either of them want to come back to this God forsaken planet. They might find it difficult to get invitations to dinner parties and the conversation could be difficult. Would you adam & Eve it?
Give me a break this guy?s a hero. I would like to believe that I am a descendant of his but alas, it is more likely I came from a less classy pedigree.
Who really believes this stuff?