Hi Everyone,
I just wanted to apologize if I scared anyone with my suicide question. Don't worry about me. I'm not going to do anything rash. It's just that sometimes things feel so bleak, I feel I've exhausted all my options, and I am, myself, exhausted by the effort. But I'm OK, so don't worry.
Right now, I think I should stay where I am: stay in the organization, but also truthfully consider the problematic areas (i.e., weigh both sides of the issues I'm seeing). I didn't come into the organization quickly, and don't plan to go out the door in a rush either.
But I know, for my own mental health, I need to keep my eyes and mind open: take an honest look at what's right about the organization, what's wrong, and what would be the right way to address it/deal with it (stay, leave, try to reform it, be forgiving and overlook it, write the Society, etc. ect.) It is not going to be easy. And also not easy to figure things out without being swayed one way or the other.
I know nobody can make my decision for me. But it sure helps to having a place to vent, some outlet, a way to think out loud without fear of being judged.
Again, thank you
p.s. I will post again later on, after I've had time to digest things.