Shark Attack

by Englishman 8 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Englishman

  My fellow skittlers, those of the mighty and most feared team "The Wanderers", now call me "Shark Attack".

  This harps back to just after I'd come out of hospital and proudly displayed my scars to enyone whom I could get to take a peek. Now, if I happen to score a spare, my team jump up and down and shout "Shark attack, shark attack!" very loudly. I am then required to lift up my sweater whilst on the alley and oscillate backwards and forwards as I do my party piece, the famous and legendary Hooper Pelvic Thrust.

  This happened again a couple of weeks back. The team were shouting the shark attack thing and I obediently lifted up my sweater eagerly anticipating the recoil from the opposing side. Well, it stunned them into silence as they gazed with horror upon my displayed splendid patchwork quilt. Then one old boy, quitely raised his eyes, looked at me fair and square and said:

  "Had a Caesarian, have you?"

  Englishman.
• 

  AK - Jeff

  Too funny, E!!!!

  How old is the child now?
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  What is it about having surgery that makes us want everyone to see our scars? I was like that, too and have noticed that others are, too. Maybe it's a way of making ourselves accept the changes and scars to our once perfect physiques. Mike, do you still have the ostomy?
• 

  Englishman

  Just to show the difference between skittles and 10 pin bowling: Skittles has 9 pins that are re-erected by a sticker-up who gets paid £10 for a 3 hour game. Plus the ball has no thumb-hole. Each player makes 6 visits of 3 balls each visit.
• 

  Englishman

  Mike, do you still have the ostomy?

  Nope! I was reconnected back in December, a complete asshole once more.

  Englishman.
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  Nope! I was reconnected back in December, a complete asshole once more.

  Englishman.

  Lucky you! Congrats.
• 

  AK - Jeff

  Is this a popular game in your portion of the world -?

  Never heard of it

  Jeff
• 

  Englishman

  Yes it is very popular, particularly in the West of England. There's men's teams, womens teams and mixed teams, all who play in different leagues according to the teams performance.

  Also the style of play varies enormously. Some folk roll the balll so slowly it barely gets to the end of the alley. Others throw it so hard it ricochets of the back wall and causes mayhem. Some people bounce the ball along the alley hoping to hit the middle pin on the downward flight of the ball.

  No skittler can play properly unless he and the team have imbibed copious quantities of ale during the game. Irt's almost impossible to play well when sober.

  Englishman.
• 

  AK - Jeff

  Played inside like bowling? or outside?

  Jeff