hey all, an email forwarded to me by a friend, hope you enjoy!
happy friday
love
harmony
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How To Speak About A Woman Or A Man And Be Politically Correct
Woman:
She is not easy - she is horizontally accessible.
She is not dumb- she is a detour off the information superhighway
She has not been around - she is a previously enjoyed companion.
She is not an airhead - she is reality impaired.
She does not get drunk or tipsy - she gets chemically inconvenienced.
She does not have breast implants - she is medically enhanced.
She does not nag you - she becomes verbally repetitive.
She is not a slut - she is sexually extroverted.
She is not a two bit whore - she is a low cost provider.
Man:
He does not have a beer gut - he has developed a liquid grain storage
facility
He is not a bad dancer - he is overly caucasian.
He does not get lost all the time - he investigates alternative
destinations.
He is not balding - he is in follicle regression.
He is not a cradle robber - he prefers generationally differential
relationships.
He does not get falling-down drunk - he becomes accidentally
horizontal.
He does not act like a total ass - he develops a case of rectal-cranial
inversion.
He is not a male chauvinist pig - he has swine empathy
He is not afraid of commitment - he is monogamously challenged
"If God has spoken, why is the world not convinced?"
..........Percy Bysshe Shelley, English poet (1792-1822)