How Passive-Aggressive Behavior Defeats the Watchtower

by metatron 8 Replies latest jw experiences

  • metatron
    metatron

    Years ago, there was perhaps the most pathetic JW funeral talk in the whole history of the Watchtower.

    An old Bethel brother named Adam Baurlein ( sp, not sure) had died. He had a long history of alcoholism and misbehavior.

    He had been at Bethel so long that Bethelite sons of former Bethelites would inquire "Dad, did you know this really old guy

    who drinks and tells dirty jokes?". Lyman Swingle did the honors - it's pretty sad when the only praiseworthy aspect of his whole

    life in summary was that "he always said he was sorry". ( !!??). And so, he was laid to rest.

    How did he survive so long? Why was he retained while an old man, who stuck up for principle, like Ed Dunlap got tossed

    out into abject poverty?

    He always said he was sorry! He cried, apologized, and pleaded. He was never marked as a "rebel", just an old drunk

    - and the Society was stuck with him for most of a century.

    Here's another story based on the same tactic: back when they had big conventions at Yankee Stadium, various brothers

    came to Bethel to do set up work and brought their wives/daughters with them. What bugged the Bethel overseers about women

    was that if they screwed up, they would start crying and you couldn't yell at them! Some sisters knew that they couldn't be

    pushed too hard because of this.

    Now, think back about whatever congregations you've ever known ( especially if you were an elder). Weren't there always

    some publishers who created endless problems for the elders BUT never got disfellowshipped? Pain in the butt types who

    made ceaseless trouble but never got expelled?

    Welcome to the fruitful world of passive-aggressive behavior! It's the best strategy when dealing with a more powerful opponent.

    There's a hilarious short film called "The Passive-Aggressive Gunfighter" featuring Bob Baladan and Charles Rocket, as the fearsome

    gunslinger who is driven to distraction by an opponent who keeps changing his schedule for a "showdown".

    Your kids use it all the time. ( "Can I Mom? Can I?, Can I? Why not?" whine, whine, whine.....).

    If everyone acted this way, the gnarled old Theocrats who run this mess would hardly know what to do.

    ..... but then again, that's exactly what Witnesses are doing with their ( lack of ) contributions, isn't it?

    metatron

  • in a new york bethel minute
    in a new york bethel minute

    not sure how to respond... but that post was a good read!

  • Scully
    Scully

    The WTS is actually an expert in passive-aggressive behaviour, because it is a subtle control tactic. If you look on certain domestic abuse websites, you'll find a description of common characteristics of passive-aggressive behaviour.

    For example: A woman might ask her husband to help her with a household task, such as doing the laundry. A "normal" guy who has a clue about what doing laundry entails will sort laundry into whites, colours and darks and wash each pile separately. The passive-aggressive person will - knowingly and with intent - throw in HER favorite white sweater with the red towel to ruin the sweater. The strategy is: That'll teach her to make me do laundry. If I screw up her favorite sweater, she'll never ask me to do it again. If she confronts him about her white sweater getting ruined, he'll respond by saying "Oh wow. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean it. It was an accident."

    Kids are also expert at this "skill", as metatron mentioned. How many parents have had to endure a long car ride with one kid hovering a finger an inch away from their sibling and declaring "I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!" Or the "art" of "forgetting" homework? One young lady (who shall remain nameless) is quite adept at telling her teacher that she "forgot" her homework at home, yet she is prone to inform her parents that her homework was "forgotten" at school.

    Procrastination is a passive-aggressive behaviour. How many people here have followed that You Can Live Forever In Paradise On Earth? carrot-on-a-stick for decades, without achieving that goal - even though we kept hearing that it was a Sure Promise?? How many Brothers? worked their butts off to Reach Out? for Privileges? in the congregation, only to get overlooked Circuit Overseer visit after Circuit Overseer visit?

    Shunning is a passive-aggressive behaviour. It sends a distinct message to the person on the receiving end: "You aren't welcome", "You aren't worthy to associate with me", "You've been rejected", "I'm better than you". But if you confront the shunner, they can honestly say "I haven't done anything to them!"

    Poisoning someone is considered to be a passive-aggressive crime. The person committing the crime does nothing overtly violent to their victim. They can even pretend to be friendly with them while they wait for their victim to take the bait. They don't even have to be around when the crime realizes its fulfillment. Certain kinds of bombs work the same way.

    As far as the WTS is concerned, one of the best forms of passive-aggressive behaviour against them would be to submit FAKE Field Service Reports?. Another form would be to make meagre donations (or none at all) toward the World Wide Work?. Skipping meetings to do something fun (when you've said you're attending a meeting at another KH for the day) is another kind of passive-aggressive behaviour that they can't control. The idea is to put on a "show" as it were, pretending to do what Mother? requires, when in actuality you are doing what you want to do. The goal is to take back control from the WTS of things that they really have no right to control: Your time, your money, your job, your family.

    Love, Scully

  • bikerchic
    bikerchic

    LOL Scully that was a good read!

    My favorite description of passive aggressive behavior is the dog who is so excited to see his master come home after he's left the dog alone all day jumps up on him relentlessly while peeing on his leg!

    Hummm it is sorta like the brother who is told to continue to reach out for more privileges only to be rewarded with MORE PRIVILEGES! So much so that he hardly has time to prepare his talks. Keep 'em busy in the lords work!

  • observador
    observador

    Scully,
    you know so well these things of agreeable...possi..., I mean, passive-agressive behavior I'm glad you're not my mom...!

    :)

    Observador.

  • Dino
    Dino

    Damn Scully, that was excellent!

    You have such great writing skills and insight that I wish you would initiate a new topic more often.

    Dino

  • Neo
    Neo

    Thanks for your excellent post, Scully!

    Neo

  • Scully
    Scully

    Thanks everyone!

    metatron's post touched a bit of a sore spot with me, I guess and I just let loose! I've long contended that JWs can be some of the most passive-aggressive *bleepity bleeps* around.

    One thing that really bugs me is how they act all self-righteous and holier-than-thou and get horribly offended if anyone says anything negative (even if it's verifiable and/or documented) about JWs or the organization. Yet, they gossip about Worldly People?, Inactive People? and DFd/DAd people and even make up stuff about them to poison another person's opinion of the individual they are talking about. They especially like to do this when the person is not there to defend themselves or offer proof to the contrary. That's what makes gossip "passive-aggressive".

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    I loved your posts on this thread Scully thanks

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