Thank-you all

mouthy

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me letters over the past two years. Thank you for making Me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Because of your concern...

I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our troops.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogen's they contain will turn me gay.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who has been dying for the past seven years.

I have no money at all, but that will change once I Receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I will now return the favor.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will fly over your head at 5:00 PM and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your Butt Crack. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin, and he's a lawyer. ---------------------------------------------------------------------
"Are you still wasting your time with spam?...
There is a solution!" Protected by GIANT Company's Spam Inspector
The most powerful anti-spam software available.
http://mail.spaminspector.com

kls

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise

Mouthy ,you ain't seen my UPS guy,,,,,,,,,,,,,My it is warm in here

I gota bunch of buzzards you have for free.

Nice post and oh so true.

Robdar

Hahahahahahaha. I love this and will forward it immediately. Hey, I don't have 1200 friends. Will my buttcrack still get infested with camel fleas?

Grace, I am glad that you are feeling better!

Love,

Robyn

mouthy

Thanks Robyn So am I (feeling better I mean) Well I dont have any fleas YET! & I didnt send out that many either. That is why I posted it here Hoping it will reach that many...I have enough trouble with my butt!!!

hubert

Mouthy, You forgot to mention Wendy's new finger food.

Oh, Errrr..., that's all ready been taken care of... (by the police).

Hubert

mouthy

bttp Yuk! Hubert

Heatmiser

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I had a coworker who's family raised chickens for KFC. He said they grew so big so fast without any exercise that you could give them a heart attack and kill them by making loud noises. BTW i still eat KFC even after hearing all his stories.

Eric

the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your Butt Crack.

Oh Jeezuz, not again!

Eric

morty

I have no money at all, but that will change once I Receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

You mean this is not a real one????
I have been checking the mail for no reason at all???
(((hugs)))) Mouthy....glad to hear that your feeling better...

mouthy

((((((Hugs Morty))) Thanks

Thank-you all

Share this