So in my College level English class, We had to write an essay about how we view the world. We had to discuss our postion in the world and whatnot. Here's what i had to say. And if you have any feedback... please tell me. :::
Like a link in a chain, it is my job to pull my weight. If I can?t pull that weight, or develop a weakness, I am responsible to all the other links. In some situations, the removal of my link leaves two purposeless sections of chain. In other situations, the removal of my link turns a decent chain into two very purposeful, easy to maneuver chains.
I am religiously at odds with myself. It has created a division in my family that makes day-to-day life considerably difficult. To think that a few bad decisions can affect things for so long thereafter has been a disturbing realization.
The "my way or the highway" attitude that has surfaced in a few of those I truly love and care for has been a swing at the pillars supporting my relationship with them. To rebuild those pillars will be timely and costly --while in the end beneficial-- and to leave those pillars to crumble would only render another bridge permanently closed.
To have an optimistic or pessimistic outlook on life is only for those who are satisfied with being a spectator of life. Those on the field, like myself, must keep the goal in mind and continue running if they ever want the game to end.
The past is something that is behind me. To dwell in it is like dancing with your shadow. Every move will be mirrored and come as no surprise. And when you finally do look up, you will see a multitude of confused looks and hear nothing but mumbling and laughter.
Many people talk about a magical ratio of "Chiefs" to "Indians". Too many of either group can cause disorder. In an attempt to humble me, I have been asked if I am a "Chief" or an "Indian". I could never honestly answer that question until recently. Now I know: I'm an Indian. An Indian Chief. The first step to being able to lead is knowing how to follow. I'm learning to follow.
Much like a rainstorm is a never a single drop of rain, an issue is never one thing that can be easily handled. It all connects and flows to together like a spider's web. If there's a bug at the bottom, you'll feel it up top too. So I just kill the bug, and wait in the corner for the next one.
I'm an addict. I want, need, and strive for attention. The more I try to go without it, the more I see opportunities for it around me. And like any ex-junkie, on occasion you delve back in and come out angry with yourself, yet oddly satisfied.