Elders get jealous of you because you quit?

by ithinkisee 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • ithinkisee
    ithinkisee

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/90182/1511830/post.ashx#1511830

    In the thread listed above, metatron said:

    In particular, some elders can get very jealous and punitive about elders who just quit.

    I thought that was funny, because I was a ministerial servant in my last hall and haven't been reappointed in our new hall (going on 3 years now). I love it. But one elder who is pretty informal with me said that he wants me to move to his congregation because they need elders and he would fast-track me to elder-dom by getting me re-appointed as an MS and then I would be an MS for a year or so and then be appointed as an elder.

    (How's that for Jehovah's spirit at work?!?!?!)

    Then, to top it off he says (in a half-joking manner): "You NEED to be an elder. So you can get calls in the middle of the night, and sit in committee meetings and listen to people whine all the time about their problems and then not listen to your council."

    I laughed of course - but the vein of seriousness was definitely buried in the sarcasm.

    For the record this is not the first time I have heard this. For some reason elders like telling me what's on their mind ...

    Just thought I would share ... enjoy!

    -ithinkisee

  • AloneinAZ
    AloneinAZ

    I certainly do believe this. My aspect is that JW's are a bunch of hypocrites and your post only makes that more valid. I have been disfellowshipped for 10+ years now but all of my immediate family are all still in "the truth". I have been married for 9 years and I lead a clean, law abidding law. I don't drink, smoke, use drugs, cheat on my husband etc.. but yet I am bad association. There is a guy that works with my husband that used to go to the same Kingdom Hall as I did, my husband would always talk about him, about how he drinks too much, he cheats on his wife etc... but he just became inactive and never went back to the Kingdom Hall. A friend of our family just recently got married and of course I was not invited but my whole family attended. The following Monday my husband tells me that his co-worker, the inactive JW was at the wedding and he saw my family there. Aint that a B@#$&! He leads lifestyle of a "sinner" but yet he still can associate with the witnesses and here I am I do everything I can to lead a clean life and raise my kids right but I am still considered bad association. What a hoot! I'm sure I could be reinstated if I wanted to but I really feel like the witnesses are a bunch of hypocrites!

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    Many JWs are hypocrites. That's the plain truth. However, many also do try to do the right thing by what the religion teaches.

    I do not now, and hope never to group them all together are being the same way.

    DY

  • GetBusyLiving
    GetBusyLiving

    There was one elder in particular in the last hall I was at that was a really good example of what a JW elder should be. He was a really good guy. Becoming friends with him was perfect for me because it made me realize even moreso that the Organization is flawed at the very core, no matter how much you try to be that example of the perfect individual portrayed in the Watchtower and Awake magazines, it's still all wrong.

    GBL

  • ithinkisee
    ithinkisee

    Blondie may have mentioned something similar to what I am about to say.

    Many really good elders that have honestly good intentions and are cool and stuff almost always end up either (a) disillusioned and just sink into anonymity in the elder ranks so as not to "make waves", or (b) get burnt out.

    There was an elder in my hall as a kid that wanted to make changes from the status quo. He ended up being in various portions of the service committee throughout the years he was elder and took many of the oppressive elders to task for their Pharisaic behavior.

    In the end of it all he left "the Truth" and is df'd.

    He was the brother that studied with me as a kid while I grew up in a "divided household".

    -ithinkisee

  • XBEHERE
    XBEHERE

    Many really good elders that have honestly good intentions and are cool and stuff almost always end up either (a) disillusioned and just sink into anonymity in the elder ranks so as not to "make waves", or (b) get burnt out.

    This is very true. They end up becoming bitter, resentful, and age faster than normal. So I have heard anyway...

    Thats pretty funny what you said that one bro told you though.. "Fast-track" you to elder. Sounds sooo familiar. Only some dont escape before its too late and do get appointed. Now how to step aside quietly.. .thats the million dollar question. The entire arrangement is a scam! Elders are untrained to handle most real life issues and most of them are dealing with the same problems themselves. The blind leading the blind indeed.

  • metatron
    metatron

    For those of you unfamiliar with this, you can't just quit as an elder - you have to get the permission of the

    body of elders! The Society made this very clear in a letter to congregations some years back. You aren't

    allowed to simply resign, they usually have to at least wait until the next C.O's visit to get his input.

    metatron

  • willyloman
    willyloman
    There was an elder in my hall as a kid that wanted to make changes from the status quo. He ended up being in various portions of the service committee throughout the years he was elder and took many of the oppressive elders to task for their Pharisaic behavior.

    In the end of it all he left "the Truth" and is df'd.

    That was me, except for the DF part (so far).

    As for Metatron's post: It's true you can't just "quit" anymore, but I did and they accepted my decision. There were health issues in my family that appeared quite serious at the time and I exaggerated it even more, so I think they felt sorry for me. But for weeks after that I expected to be told that the body had met and discussed my "request" and decided to "let me" remain an elder without any assignments for a while, "just until you get back on your feet." That's the usual drill these days. But, for whatever reason, they never had that conversation with me. Several months later, after missing a LOT of meetings, I "moved to another congregation." My plan was to go there a few times and then begin the fade. However, we had relatives visit and then we were out of town for several days and the next thing you know it had been a month since we said we were changing congos and, well, it was just easier not to go.

    I did get one call from the secretary at the new congo, asking me if there was some mistake because he had received my cards but had never actually seen me at a meeting. I went into great detail about the health issues that were impacting my family and told him to hold onto those cards because, by God, we were determined to get to the meetings at his hall just as soon as Jehovah gave us the strength to do so.

    We've been left alone ever since. Looking back, I sometimes think it's because I was a pain in the butt for the Pharisees (see above quote). The guys who would be most likely to hunt me down may feel they are better off without me there, chiding them for their oppressive behavior. But I suspect the truth is that they already know why I left and they don't want to be discouraged by confronting me. I can tell you many stories of elders who just left people drift away because they knew in their hearts what the brother or sister would say if you demanded a reason for their departure, and they just didn't want to have to come up with a good answer for them. It would amaze you how many elders are walking around with heavy hearts, keeping hidden deep inside themselves their own doubts and misgivings.

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