I just found my biological father whom is a Jehovah's Witness too. But he chooses to deny the fact that he is my father. I know that deep down he knows I am his daughter. I have written him several letters, but his wife returns them if her name is on them. So I write to my brother and father, but never recieve anything from them. I really do need their encouragment to get me back on the right path. I just can't find article's to help me deal with this in the right manner. I am confused at what to do. I am 35 years old, and have lived without him this long, but I really need to know why he does not want anything to do with me. I have contact with some of his family, who are accepting me in the family. My father and his wife and children are the only Witness's in the family. Therefore I try to defend him for not associating with the family, but I don't know why he won't even acknowledge the fact that I even exist. Please help me, I am not trying to cause any harm to my dad and his famiy. I just want him to feel the love I have had all bottled up inside for 35 years.
found my biological father
by lobaugh 6 Replies latest social family
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AlmostAtheist
Welcome to JWD!
Are you a JW? If you are, and your father is, it seems strange that he would not acknowledge you. Were the circumstances such that if you come back into his life he'll have questions raised that he'd rather not have to answer?
Is he near you geographically? Can you visit him? (Not that I'm encouraging you to, only gathering information.)
Dave
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Thegoodgirl
Sounds like a difficult situation. Am also wondering what were the circumstances with your birth. The only thing that may have to do with his JW-ness is that if he has sex outside of marriage from which you were concieved, and he was a JW at the time, he has to confess that and be repentant, even this many years later. This involves formally having "comittee meetings" with heads of the congregation. Then they announce it at one of the meetings (church services.) It's pretty involved. but again, that's only if he was a Jehovah's Witness at the time of your conception. Wheter he was a Witness or not, I hope he contacts you.
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jgnat
You may be emotionally ready to bond, but he may not. I don't know the circumstances of the separation here, so I am kind of working in the dark. Here is an article you may enjoy, just to understand some of the stuff he might be working through.
http://www.pactadopt.org/press/articles/birthfathers.html
In my experience, sometimes men act like jerks or go in to denial when working through their grief. Unlike women, who often have a social network to talk them through their pain, many men suffer in silence.
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sf
Hello, and welcome.
If you observe carefully, you will begin to see that this forum is made up mostly of EX jws and inactive-non active ones. Just wanted you to be aware of that fact.
I really do need their encouragment to get me back on the right path. I just can't find article's to help me deal with this in the right manner.
Going by your statement here it is clear your father has deemed some of your past behavior as 'conduct unbecoming...' yet just hasn't been man enough to tell you what it is he believes you've done to render such coldness from him. ASK HIM!
As for any articles to help you get back on track, please search for the poster 'blondie on this forum, and read her posting history of many articles.
Happy trails!!
Sincerely, sKally
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lobaugh
I have never met my father, therefore he has no reason for not wanting anything to do with me. I know that him and my mother had a horrible break up. But they broke up before I was born. And as for everyone being an ex JW. I am disfellowshiped. My father knows nothing about me, unless he found out through his congregation that I am disfellowshiped. Even if he did, he didn't want anything to do with me even before he knew anything about me. I just don't know what to do now. I have no body that talks to my dad to let me know what he is thinking. I also don't understand why I am wanting to be close to him, when he won't even acknowledge me. Sometimes I wonder why I even love him like I do.
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Bryan
lobaugh,
I didn't find my mother until I was 33. Fortunately, she had been hoping I would show up for decades. It's only natural that you want to seek out your father and even love him. I wish I could give you some advise about his not wanting to meet you. If he is a true christian (Christ like) then he should at least acknowledge you.
I'm sorry you're going through this emotional turmoil.
Take care,
Bryan
Have You Seen My Mother