EXPLORER-Hatred, Hurt, and Forgiveness

BoozeRunner

Explorer spoke about Ex-JW's hating Jw's and spoke about forgiveness.

I dug up an article from the 12/1/97 Watchtower.

In paragraph 15, under the sub-heading, WHEN IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE TO FORGIVE, the article stated this:

What, though, if others sin against us in a way that inflicts the deepest of wounds, and yet there is no acknowledgement of the sin, no repentance, and no apology on the part of the offender? (Proverbs 28:13) The Scriptures clearly indicate that Jehovah does not forgive unrepentant, hardened sinners. (Hebrews 6:4-6; 10:26, 27) What about us? Insight on the Scriptures says: "Christians ae not required to forgive those who practice willful sin with no repentance. Such become God's enemies." (Volume 1, page 862) No Christian who has been a victim of extremely unjust, detestable, or heinous treatment should feel forced to forgive, or pardon, a wrongdoer who is not repentant.-Psalm 139:21, 22.

Many on this board have been such victims. Many are understandably still smarting from unjust treatment.
What I see is NOT hate, but HURT. I notice that most JW's will judge the emotions they see, instead of the CAUSE of such.

Paragraph 16 continues:

Understandably, those who have been vicims of cruel mistreatment may feel hurt and angry.

So there you have it-out of the mouth of the WTS itself. They are NOT exempt from persons being unforgiving, as they are responsible (either by passively standing by and doing nothing, or by ordering their henchmen to destroy lives) for inflicting deep wounds on countless people. They do this with NO remorse, NO apology, NO REPENTANCE!!!!

if I had $.02, this would be it,
Boozy

Quester

I think there is a lot of misunderstanding of what true
forgiveness is.

Forgiveness is not synonymous with reconciliation.

Forgiveness may or may not include reconciliation.
It depends on the situation.

Forgiveness is not a 2 second decision, but a process.
Anger is actually part of the forgiveness process.
In fact, I don't think you can forgive someone unless
or until you have done your anger work.

Yeah, a lot of xjw's are angry. Rightly so.
It's a process.
Move thru it.
Quester

BoozeRunner

Quester, excellent points!

The article also brought out that apologoes may NEVER come, as it was speaking of very malicious acts.

So, many here are venting, and helping others thru trauma as well.

This forum helps many to get thru the hurt and move on.

As I stated in my original post, many JW's only see the emotional output from injured ones, and THAT is what they attack.

Boozy

ladonna

Excellent points from all.

I found I had to forgive, not for the WTBTS, but for my own well-being.
It is not healthy to carry around hurts....deep wounds....and feel deep rage and hatred when we all realize rationally that there is NEVER going to be an apology.

Quester put this into words far better than I

Ana

Some Birds Were Not Meant To Be Caged

BoozeRunner

Ladonna.....very true. Carrying the hurt around does more harm to the victim than anyone else.

Boozy

BoozeRunner

Explorer, hope you get to read this

:-)
Boozy

Tina

Hi Boozie!
Excellent topic here!
In harmony with Ladonna's thoughts....

Forgiveness
is a gift we give ourselves. We forgive by letting go of the burden of carrying around the hurt anger pain and loneliness that have impacted our lives due to others negative behaviors.
We let them and the attending negative emotions go. Go in the sense,to live their own lives and suffer the results of their own behavior.
After allowing ourselves to experience the range of human emotions,we go on to heal and grow.
Our goals from healing and growing are independence,mastery and freedom.
Just some thoughts,,,,T

BoozeRunner

Tina, you are so right. Healing is a multi-stage process involving multiple emotions. We MUST allow ourselves to experience such things(as painful as it is) in order to move on.

Boozy

Explorer

Dear Boozie :

I tried to explain my self better when I REPLIED :

" I agree with those of you stating the difference between bitterness and hate. I do see the difference when I read it, and it is specially here where I tried to express my sorrow the first time, NOT because I think those ex - JW's will eventually loose their life for steping out of the Org, as it could have appeared to some of you, but because I can understand they were hurted by some one in the Org.

I am sorry if it also sounded a worn line to some others, I can understand the perpetrator being sorry for something he did does not take away the pain he has inflicted. I Thank God I do not have anything to feel sorry about my own actions hurting like that a fellow brother, or ex-brother. However, I am not blind to those JW's who have indeed acted like judges upon the concience of others. But as for this extreme, I can only think Jehovah shall repay to everyone acording to his deeds, and no one will escape from this final and only fair judgement, no matter if he claims to be a Christian in good standing.

Not all the JW's are blind to the mistakes, many of them sinful, that are comitted by people in " good standing ", specially by judging others with a sword they would't call upon their own flesh. However I wonder, can anyone apart from God ever change that? I doubt it. We as humans are inherently sinners. Jehovah forgives those who are concious of this sinful condition and try to live the path of Jesus, the path of LOVE, but as for those that claim to be "different" in every way from their fellow neighborgs, and forget they are flesh too, God will judge in JUSTICE, but with the same lack of mercy they have judged others.

I believe changes will come to the Org. sooner or late, if overall aprobed or disaprobed by God, He is the only one who knows I think. But Jehovah has never failed to recognized a truthful and humbled heart, not having to be this one part of His people, and that's what makes Him so Great. So I think he will judge people individually, everywhere, outside and inside of all Orgs. not just JW's.

Neither I think a person disfellowshiped from the Org., or leaving for his own will shall die for that particular reason. I think He, as well as anyone inside the Org. will die only for what is inside his heart, and that's why I was moved to post regarding our need to get rid of the hate, and embrace love in our hearts.

Regarding those of you who think God himself seems not to be a God of Love, by your quotes from the scriptures, and the description of His judgment upon His Enemies, and their offspring, I can only say I can understand the feeling, but being myself flesh as I am, I just don't dare to judge the Almighty or his acts. "

As for your case I can only say I am sorry if you were hurt in anyway, I wished there were not cases like those at all, but wishes are wishes, and reality is not always the way we'd like it to be. And because I understand those things I can not change, I think the only thing we can change is our heart itself.

I liked very much Ladona's thoughts by saying " I found I had to forgive, not for the WTBTS, but for my own well-being " In fact, I think that's what Jesus tell's us to do, care for ourselves, and understand how destructive the way of hate can be, try to forgive, not only for the sake of the God whom we owe that, but for or own sake too.

Some things perhaps will never be forgotten, or forgiven, Yes, I understand that. Jehovah does too, he knows we are only dust. And He will in time bring justice, to those qho have been oppressed, and remained thirsty for such justice, instead of taking the path of revenge, for the revenge is HIS, the scriptures tells us all.

Please do not be ofended, by my words, or the fact that I am a JW. Just as JW's tend to make general judgments about people whose lives they don't really know, so it happens with those outside the Org. judging all JW's the same, when we are all a universe of different minds and hearts. This universe worlds apart shall be united some day, under the kingdom of God.ñ

Sincerely,

Explorer

BoozeRunner

Explorer, I understood your comments completely. I just figured I'd post some thoughts about the subject. This board is all about FREE exchange of ideas, opinions, and sometimes EMOTIONS.
Stick around, we are happy to have you sharing with us.

Boozy

EXPLORER-Hatred, Hurt, and Forgiveness

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