I was thinking how the exit process as facilitated by people learning 'the truth about the Truth' is rather like treatment of a disease, medicine can get rid of it but for example we know how chemotherapy can be hard on the body. Healing, then, would be something different and may be necessary after the 'harsh medicine.' It's easy to resort to 'time heals all wounds', but when the wound is really deep obviously it helps to have something other than just sitting around waiting, because you're probably going to wait a really long time. So given that we know how many are hurting from the whole experience after being out, what are some ways to help heal? For that matter what about looking at this healing factor in the beginning along side the 'medicine'?
Medicine (for JWism) vs. Healing
by Markfromcali 5 Replies latest jw friends
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what_Truth?
One of the first things I did to get over the JW's was to stop using their language. This might seem small. When you start calling their Kingdom hall a church and the PO a pastor then they start to lose their ominious mystery.
Another thing that you can do is make a list of the things that you've always wanted to to but the JW's wouldn't let you. Cross out all of the negatives and start following the positive steps. It can be something as small as voting for a politician you like or calling up an old highschool friend you considered "bad association" for so many years.
For me the biggest help was pursuing a career that I wanted instead of the very limited cleanup and construction options that the JW's offer.
By doing all these things you not only heal yourself but you also help dispell the horrible myth that all ex-JW's are unhappy debauched wrecks wandering aimlessly through life. -
SixofNine
Contrary to our instinctual disdain for our former cult, the Jehovah's Witness religion is not a disease; it is merely a symptom of a disease. That disease is Belief In Things For Which You Do NOT Have Evidence. Get rid of that cancer, and you will be healed.
Now go your way, your disbelief has made you well.
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mamochan13
I had to separate myself completely from family for a while in order to heal. Changing the language is a good suggestion - stop calling it "the truth"! I enrolled in university, which really helped. It was also helpful to embrace many customs that were forbidden - celebrate xmas, birthdays, mothers day, etc. I joined a political party and became active in union events, the first time I voted was a real rush! I learned the words to the national anthem and proudly stood up and sang at first opportunity. It may seem insignificant, but every little thing you do that was denied you as a JW is another small step towards becoming whole again.
And don't forget the importance of educating yourself regarding doctrine & practice. The more you learn about how wrong these things were, the easier it is and the better you feel.
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Markfromcali
I wish I had more time to talk about what this would look like, and as it is I don't remember enough of what the JW stuff looks like anyway, but I want to make a quick point about the basic mechanics of it. In effect it is like the difference between negating, countering the JW message and neutralizing it, which is to say see it for what it is - nothing. While I agree that getting busy enjoying life and doing things is useful, I would say it is definitely worth looking at whether it is a matter of a polarization to all things non-JW, (which would probably be appropriate - for a time) or if the pattern is more of a matter of neutralization which amounts to transcending it. In terms of conversation it is helpful to question, but this would be an open ended question - and in terms of your own healing it involves questioning yourself, or the beliefs you have held.
Edited to add:
Does this distinction make sense?
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DHL
Does this distinction make sense?
Absolutely! JW preach a system in which you believe everything that you're told without questioning. To be a JW you have to walk blind and trust the WTS to lead you the right way.
Because of that background healing from the sickness called "JW" can only be accomplished by becoming willing to make your own decisions and therefore ask yourself many many questions. This because only questioning your beliefs puts you in the position to change them if you feel they are not appropriate. That way you build up self esteem and learn to trust in your own decisions. Imho that's the only way to heal.
growth = healing