Getting serious

by New Worldly Translation 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  New Worldly Translation

  I don't know if this happened to anyone else when they left the org but when I left I lost some of my sense of humour. Once I found out life wasn't a temporary trivial game with a happy ending in sight I found things took on a more serious aspect.

  All through school and work I was more intent on making people laugh, dodging responsibility or taking time off than forging a career. I thought what's the point, all this is temporary and won't matter soon. I was always popular with schoolmates and work friends cos I had a good sense of humour but I never associated with them cos they were 'worldly'. It was a nice outlet though during 9 to 5 as at JW meetings humour is seen as flippancy so I was just quiet and serious at JW gatherings. Now that I have the opportunity to go out with friends and have a laugh I find I'm totally stressed out with trying to make up for lost time and also feel insular in not being a JW but not quite of the real world either.

  It was the loss of the ability to lift the oppression of any situation with a joke that prompted me to seek psychiatric help. I was panicked because I found myself sinking into depression and unable to convey how I was feeling as a JW upbringing teaches you that such expressions are signs of weakness. I couldn't make light of the situation as it wasn't transitory or ephemeral but was real, serious and needed figuring out.

  It is getting better and some of my wit and sarcasm show themselves at various times. I do feel I am a different person though and I need to get a handle on my new personality.

  A big help has been this site and discussing issues with everyone and hearing their experiences. Also having a laugh and a joke about funny, stupid and weird subjects. So I'd like to say a thankyou to everyone on the board
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  Crumpet

  NWT - you do seem to be regaining your sense of humour - after all it was you who posted the lego reconstructions of bible stories, which I LOVE!

  I feel the other way round - I think I found my sense of humour after departure and hooking up with my other half who refuses to let me take myself seriously.
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  tijkmo

  i know exactly what you mean...and i couldnt have put it better myself and the reason i couldn't is because along with my sense of humour went my ablity to care...for anyone and anything..

  but its back

  taken a good 18 months or so...but now i find myself being funny rather than just being vitriolically sarcastic..or sarcastically vitriolic...or just plain sad
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  MerryMagdalene

  It's very interesting to me to hear people's experiences regarding the topic of humour and seriousness and the direction such things have taken before, during or after being part of this specific belief-system...

  As a Witness I was terribly serious about everyone and everything but also had a rather dark and sly sense of humour...so subtle as to seem almost non-existant until it would flash forth on rare occasions and greatly surprise people.

  Now I am starting to lighten up a little bit. I guess that goes with learning to relax, be at ease with things and not feel like I have to exert total control over my feelings and my environment.

  ~Merry (of the still-can't-tell-a-good-joke-to-save-my-life class)
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  MerryMagdalene

  Here's a very cool link (imo) that seems quite appropriate here...

  http://www.freeminds.org/psych/humor.html

  ~Merry
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  BrendaCloutier

  I left JW-ism on a royal drunk. As an alcoholic who discovered alcohol when I got married to an up-and-coming-JW-alcoholic, when I left I raised hell.

  I learned to handle myself in a tavern at midnight shooting stick (pool) and dealing with grabasses.

  Being drinking in an establishment shunned by JW's was a blast.

  It was after I got clean and sober (15 years ago this coming Tuesday, May 17) that I realized I had no clue as to what was funny and what was not.

  Growing up I sad a wierd sense of humor. As y'all know, I've found it again.

  Growing up I learned to laugh quietly during meetings. Sniggering behind my hand, or just shaking all over without uttering a peep. Well, I've learned to laugh outloud. Boystrously. Sometimes even a good jackass hee-haw! But I laugh outloud!

  It's a process. Humor is important to survival in this world with all the seriousness and fearmongering going on now.

  AA's rule 62: Don't take yourself so seriously.

  Amen
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  New Worldly Translation

  Thanks everyone for your comments

  Crumpet & Brenda you're right about not taking yourself too seriously. Also trying to relax and chill out a bit helps me with seeing the funny side of things like you said Merry. I'm a bit of a perfectionist and get frustrated and stressed quite easily.

  tijkmo - I think you may have felt the same way I did. I could think of a really funny comment that I could make or joke on a subject but just thought 'what's the point?'. It was like a mental fatigue and the only comments you could make were hurtful sarcastic ones. I suppose there's a psychological explanation for it in that you're trying to tell people how you're feeling by making them as miserable as you are. It's not the ideal way to express ourselves - thank goodness were over it!