YOU AND US !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by vitty 9 Replies latest jw friends

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  vitty

  I want this to be light hearted, butttttttttttt

  Is there a difference between the ones here who where brought up in the the truth and the ones who fell for it as an adult. What made me think was a few comments on other threads like "it wasnt my fault I was a dub, I was brought up in it"

  I myself feel very guilty for all you who have had a horrible time as kids, and I understand all of you who for whatever reason, got sucked into this cult.

  As for myself im in both camps, I was brought up into it, my family fell away when I was 9 or so, then cos I still believed it went back in when I was 24. Now half my family are back in, and my adult daughter all because of me.

  The difference im talking about is that if you where brought up in it, and for whatever reason are now out, you still have a life, maybe small children who will never have to be IN. But you may be left with scars.

  If you where an adult, like me, you will look back and feel you have wasted the best part of your life. And maybe have kids still in. Its not a competition what what do you think is worse??????
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  Netty

  I like this question, its a real good one.

  Speaking from my own perspective, I can tell you that its real hard to be brought up in it. When you are taught all the bologna, at the same time you are taught your ABC's, "brush your teeth" "dont play with fire", basic fundamental stuff all kids are taught (Dub or not) it makes it more difficult to differentiate between what is necessary, or real and what is WTS brainwashing.
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  Dragonlady76

  Its not a competition what what do you think is worse??????

  Being brought up in it is worse in my opinion, beacuse as kids we didn't have a choice, our parents made us go to the meetings and on field service.

  As an adult you have a choice.

  DL76
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  tetrapod.sapien

  ya, i have thought about this before too. i was brought-up in it, so i think that is pretty bad. teaching an intelligent child credulity instead of skepticism is a horrible educational blow to them. -- but i still think the worst is being an adult and falling for it. i say this for a few reasons. one, the adult had obviously not cultivated critical thinking ability, or was incabable of doing so because of whatever reasons. two, because it really means that the adult was taken advantage of at a low point in thier life BY A CULT. and three, because IMO i think it is harder for an adult convert to realize psychologically that they have been duped and get out. at least a kid can blame naivety. an adult has invested more emotionally as an adult convert.
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  kls

  I would have to agree being brought up in it has to be the worst. I was recruited as a teen and raised my kids for some years in the crap and that is no way for a child to have to live. I can be thankful that that i was not raised in it.
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  talesin

  As for the pain and suffering, and recovery, I really feel that one cannot compare pain & trauma. One person will get on w/ their lives, another will have a life of pain. That is true for all forms of abuse.

  To speak to being raised JW.

  Before the age of 8-10 YO, we are developing our cognitive reasoning skills. Our methods of determining values, and boundaries, are established. Growing up in the isolation of a family of 'true believers', I can tell you this had a huge effect on my psyche.

  As JW kids, we did not learn how to make our own choices, we did not get socialized w/ other children, we learned that we were only tools of J*h's organization, etc. etc. There were all kinds of thought processes implanted in our brains that are wrong. Judgementalness, feelings of superiority to everyone else in the world whilst knowing we are imperfect and 'not good enough'. There is a lot of stuff to unlearn. Some of us get there, some don't.

  Those who joined as adults have other things to overcome. There may be guilt, shame, other feelings that someone who had that experience could verbalize better than I. It's a toss-up, in my opinion.

  As a 'born-into-it', though, I can say that I got a good education in public speaking, and in being rejected. ;)

  tal
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  bem

  Not sure if I can answer which is worse, My son and I talked at length yesterday about this very thing. I was recruited and he was raised in the wts. We both suffered. I think it's hard for the folks raised in because the very values we as parents thought was the "truth"and the people we introduced them to as a way of life. It is so heartbreaking to see the pain caused by having it all come crashing in.

  OTOH, I had most of my relatives disappointed in me because of the religion we chose. I took it all the way seriously. Which wound up not being so bad really cause I didn't have much of a relationship with them anyway. And I never turned my back on my DF'd son thanks to the ignorant behavior of "friends".
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  Es

  The main difference is it was YOUR choice if you decided to go into this cult as an adult majority of us who were brought up in the truth NEVER got that CHOICE. es
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  wanderlustguy

  I think it's much more difficult for a person who was raised in it to ever get to normal...for people brought in, they can "go back" to normal life...those of us who were raised in it thought it WAS normal life.

  Hard to learn to view something foreign to you as normal, even harder to deal with the fact that everything you beleived and took comfort in is gone.

  Also, born in JW's sometimes only have family that is in, because you can't really associate with the family that is out. So there's also no going back to your family and reconciling...unless you choose to live a lie.

  The last time I was home, I remember thinking to myself, while watching everyone around my aunts casket, "no wonder...you people are all I had to learn from".
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  Honesty

  I think it's much more difficult for a person who was raised in it to ever get to normal...for people brought in, they can "go back" to normal life...those of us who were raised in it thought it WAS normal life.

  I agree. After I discovered the truth about the truth it only took about another week confirming that all the other doubts I had about the WT doctrine were well founded and then 3 days of haggling it out with the elders and I was outta there. The very next week I started attending a Christian church where I learned more in a month than I did in 15 years as a loyal WT slave. If I had a good foundation in bible truths when I met the dubs I am convinced I would have seen through the facade and never would have gotten involved with them except to help them see the error of the WT ways.