My brother

Chia

I just recently talked to my brother. He got thrown out of my mom's house before I did, because he was constantly staying out late, going to clubs and coming home drunk, and my mom had enough of it. The difference between us is that he still feels the Dubs have "the truth." So he's still trapped in that mindset. He doesn't have any issues with me living my life, but he feels guilty and depressed all the time.

He told me today that he went back to the KH to get Watchtowers and Kingdom Ministries and made arrangements to meet with our former book study conductor. A chill went down my spine. I asked him if the conductor had asked anything about me, and he said, "Only if I had seen you, and I said no."

I can't put my finger on why this troubles me so much. Maybe because I've already lost 3 members of my family, and I don't want to lose another. My brother and I have always been so close, and I just have a bad feeling about this. It really troubles me that he is going back to the Dubs.

I just needed to vent.

EvilForce

It sounds like he is unhappy with his life...therefore is drinking alot to numb the emptiness. Can you tell him about how you have found happiness outside of the borg, and that you were never happy going to meetings? Maybe he doesn't realize you CAN be happy without going to meetings.

Chia

I have talked to him. I've told him about CoC. He's seen the book. But it's had no effect on him. He has said to me that I've always been the "intellectual" one, and he doesn't think of himself as smart. He definitely has low self-esteem, and the drinking does numb his pain. I wish I could find a way to help him...but he has to see it on his own. I never tried to "preach" to him, but when the opportunity came up, I expressed my feelings about the organization. He misses my mother, they've always been close, and he doesn't want to be on her bad side. I feel powerless to help him. But, thanks EF, for the suggestion. If you or anyone else has anything else, I'll be glad to try it.

Joyzabel

Ask him what appeals to him with the JWs! Don't assume you know. Maybe for him its different than it was for you.

Point out to him how the JWs make your feel "stupid" because a lot of their dogma can't be explained. (It's their weaving of facts & fantacy) Point out to him, very gently, some inconsistencies that you are aware of.

Also show how they are a fear based religion (Armagedon, not havning family members, etc) And how they use guilt to keep people in their place.

I think a quick summary of the JW's in Apocalypse Delayed was good.

But find out where he really is at. Then go from there.

Good luck.

Joy

also show unconditional love and point out the JW's don't.

EvilForce

I agree. Don't make any assumptions and don't necessarily point out their wrongness a whole lot. Talk from your feelings, your emotions, your experiences. Those things cannot be dismissed lightly.

Also, if you can find out what he thinks make the Dub's seem right to him is good advice.

swiftbreeze

i was talking to my ex the other day and he runs the streets alot he looks tired and miserable yet he still devoted to the wts. We talked about how i felt about the wts and i just told him that "the jews were God's chosen people and they lost God's favor many many many times...king David sinned against God..solomon..even moses he didnt even see the promise land and many others... what makes you think that it isnt possible for the wts to sin and lose God's favor they are imperfect too. Do you think it's impossible for them to error? to believe that is the same as saying they are perfect" he had to agree.

I told him "you don't seem happy..why? arent jW's God's happy people?"

it's hard especially when your family is involved and you see the misery..just try to keep the lines of communication open and when you have the chance say things that will make him think..

nicolaou

I feel for you Chia. I would just tell him that whatever he decides you will always be there for him, that if he decides to live his life as a Jehovah's Witness it would not alter the fact that to you he is first and foremost your brother!

You might find my own story with my brother worth reading - http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/21351/1.ashx

Good Luck

Nic'

JW83

Chia, hugs for you. I've been through a similar experience, but both of my younger brothers (who were never baptized & not Witnesses) sided with my Witness parents in shunning me because they didn't want to lose my parents. It's hard stuff. Just be the best & happiest example you can be!

Chia

Wow, Nic. That's pretty moving. Thank you for sharing that.

I think there's something deeper here that I'm dealing with. It's not just my brother, it's me. I have to deal with some issues myself before I can try to really help my brother to the fullest of my ability. I will post that later.

My brother

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