A true friend

by fairchild 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  fairchild

  Although I was never baptized, I was around JWs for more than 20 years and attended all the meetings for the past several years. I was always invited at social JW events and was treated as one of their own. When I turned my back on the organization, almost 6 months ago, I found out that they started to shun me. I went to the memorial this past March, some said a quick hello, others turned away when I looked in their direction, but very few actually talked to me. I had two very close friends at the KH, neither one of them had contacted me after I left.

  Now yesterday, one of my good friends from the KH called me out of the blue. She is very devoted to the org. and has been a pioneer for over 30 years. She told me that she had needed some time to adjust to my decision to quit going to the meetings, but that she misses the way we used to hang out together and have fun. After that, she didn't mention the org anymore, we just caught up on the latest town gossip, etc.. We made plans to do something together next week. I had not expected this, especially because she is so very devoted to the organization. But today I can say.... I have a true friend.
• 

  Sunspot

  After that, she didn't mention the org anymore, we just caught up on the latest town gossip, etc.. We made plans to do something together next week. I had not expected this, especially because she is so very devoted to the organization. But today I can say.... I have a true friend

  I have read and reread your post and I almost decided not to reply, but here I go anyway. I want to warn you to be wary of this situation. When push comes to shove---the organization will win out every time.

  Of course I don't know her, but I'm just a bit concerned for you about this. JWs don't just appear out of the blue to rekindle a friendship with one who has never been baptized.............unless they are looking to "encourage" you to come back and make a stand.

  I'm not insinuating that she's a phony, she might be genuinely concerned about you as a JW or prospective JW. It all boils down to the same end, that if you "don't do anythng with it", your friendship will be toast. I have seen it all before with others.

  I honestly don't mean to hurt you, or pour cold water on your on your obviously happy mood, but I like you and hate to see you get your hopes up and then be crashed down. I truly hope that it all works out the way you hope, and that I'm just a silly old lady who thinks too much.

  I just want you to be cautious, that's all.

  hugs,

  Annie
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  fairchild

  Hi Annie,

  JWs don't just appear out of the blue to rekindle a friendship with one who has never been baptized.............unless they are looking to "encourage" you to come back and make a stand.

  To be honest, I did think of that, but I hate to use caution when it comes to my friends. I have known her for 14 years (she was one of the first people I met when I moved to this area). I saw both her sons grow up, one to become an elder, the other one to be disfellowshiped. I need to think of my friends as true friends unless they prove to be otherwise, but I do understand your concern and I definitely appreciate your honesty.

  It all boils down to the same end, that if you "don't do anythng with it", your friendship will be toast.

  ..and of course I am not planning to do anything with it.

  I honestly don't mean to hurt you, or pour cold water on your on your obviously happy mood, but I like you and hate to see you get your hopes up and then be crashed down. I truly hope that it all works out the way you hope, and that I'm just a silly old lady who thinks too much.

  I know you don't mean this in a hurtful way at all and no, you're not just a silly old lady who thinks too much. And I was thinking that this silly old lady who thinks too much should get in her car and drive while she's thinking. You live within driving distance from me, you know that? I don't have a car (long story), but hey, if you promise to come and visit me, I will take you out for dinner. How's that?
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  Sunspot

  if you promise to come and visit me, I will take you out for dinner. How's that?

  Sweetie,First of all, I'm SO glad you weren't offended by my post! (whew!)

  Second, I can't drive. I'm disabled and have a lot of residual effects due to a couple of strokes and a heart attack.

  I'm sorry we can't get together on this, I'm sure we both would have enjoyed it. Thanks SO much for your wonderful invitation, you made me feel so good!

  love & hugs,

  Annie.............see my profile
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  fairchild

  Annie.............see my profile

  I just did and I'm speechless. Wow! I am so very sorry for the mess the org. has caused in your family, and now I also understand better why you gave me this warning about my friend. Gosh, life isn't a garden full of fragrant roses, is it? One of my non - JW friends takes care of her 22 year old handicapped granchild. She can't get help anywhere and it drives her nuts. She is having back problems from lifting the 150 lb. girl all by herself several times a day. I can only admire you for the care you give to someone else while you are not healthy yourself.

  Sorry we can't go out for dinner, but remind me, when my book gets released (end of this summer), I will send you a signed copy, that is a promise.
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  orangefatcat

  Dearest Fairchild, so nice to see you this morning. It sounds like you are going to have a good time with you friend.

  Not to spoil a good thing,but like what SunSpot said, you really need to be careful, I wouldn't want you to get hurt in the end. It may be as you say an old friend etc but yes when it comes to loyality to the organization she will stick with it. Then on the other hand you were never baptized and I can't figure out why they are shunning you. You could have been thought of as a baptized JW because of having been always at the meetings and doing everything, and maybe that is why they are shunning you., maybe marked you. YOu know their stupid rules. Do witnesses know you are unbaptized??

  I really want you to have a good time with your friend and hope it all is okay in the end. Because we all need a true friend.

  My deepest love

  Orangefatcat.
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  Shania

  True friends are far and few, so if she is, than hold onto that friendship.................I have 5 very best friends that I trust my life with and they are all JW. and they know how I feel, they feel the exact same way, so we do what we have too, to keep our families all the while enjoying our " and making jokes and laughing at the " Brudderhood." So have a great time with your buddy!!!!!!!!!