How do you deal with a long distance relationship?

by LyinEyes 9 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  LyinEyes

  My husband is off working hail in Amarillo, Texas right now and has been gone so much of this year. When the kids were smaller , we all went , which was great fun, seeing new places.

  Circumstances are now that I can't leave home , I have to stay home with the kids so that they have a somewhat normal life now that we are borg free.

  We have unlimited talk time on our cell phones and that is what keeps us close.

  Today I cried as I put a few of his clothes he still has here, most of his clothes are with him, and it was so painful seeing the drawers so empty. I found a shirt he wore just the other day , when we went out to eat and it still smelled like him, I decided not to wash it.

  It is even harder on him because he is not with any family, and he misses the kids terribly.

  We are planning since it is summer to be together more , but I won't be able to stay too long with him, but it is better than months at a time.

  So how do you stay close, keep in touch and deal with having to be separated because of work responsiblities? I am always looking for new ideas , even if you think they are small things , I would like to hear how you cope.

  Hugssssssss, Dede
• 

  Billygoat

  (((((((Dede))))))))

  Well, I can say that when Neil and I are separated for long periods of time, it's miserable. Just a 3 day business or camping trip depresses both of us. We talk a lot on the phone, mostly try to stay busy with other things, email, pray a lot. We usually write a note for each day we're gone from each other and try to hide it in the other person's luggage in hard to find spots. It's comforting to wake up one morning and find a sexy post-it note hidden in a sock or pocket in a pair of pants. But then again we haven't been apart (EVER) for more than two weeks.

  I'm sorry things are so hard. I just know I couldn't handle being away this long from my hubby.

  Andi
• 

  Jim_TX

  Dede,

  Howdy!

  I'd say sending packages of things to each other... things to cheer each other up... dunno what... perhaps souveniers, or other things...

  That makes the day go by a tad better - looking forward to the postman dropping off a box in the mail.

  Or - perhaps cards sent in the mail... or short letters. (Perhaps even sending a sexy photo... *wide grin*)

  I know that cell phones may seem like they have put these things out of style, but I personally feel like the physical-ness of receiving - or giving - something via the mail is still desireable.

  Say 'Hey' to Denny - next time you talk to him, for me. Ok? Tell him I finally got me a girl-friend. She is the most beautiful girl I have ever known. I didn't even have to use any of those 'pick-up' lines he told me, either.

  ********** H U G S **********

  Jim_TX
• 

  LyinEyes

  (((Andi)) I know you and Neil are very close, and that is how Denny and I are, we are beyond best friends, beyond husband and wife , we don't feel complete without each other everyday. But, ya know we are dealing with it , but every time I see his truck pull out of sight when he has to go back on the road, I cry as if it was the first time he has done it,,,lol. I just tell myself that we have to do this for the kids and I have to hold tight , keep things going here at home , for him.

  We have been married over 20 years and I still hate to be away from him . His Mom and Dad went thru the same thing and now I understand so many of the things she has told me thru the years, knowing now exactly what she had to go thru.

  I like the idea of the post notes,,,,,I sent in his bag, hidden under clothes, he didnt see it until he got in his motel room,,,,,a picture of us , happy , hugging , smiling. He told me he put it right next to the bed.

  ((((((( Jim )))))))) I will tell Denny what you said,,,,,I am sure glad you didnt have to use those pickup lines either. I am sure if ya did , she would have hit ya in the head with a fryin' pan....hehe.

  It is great news you have a lady friend, maybe at one of the fest we can get to meet her.

  I agree Jim, I still love good old snail mail, and the pictures are a good idea. I proabably wouldnt send him any "racy" ones because if you knew the crazy dent guys he works with, somehow they would find it and ohhh goshhhh, they would love to embarrass me to death with it...lol.

  I am gonna look for the old polaroid and take some pictures of us all, even his beloved Lab , Snoopy. She won't be wearing any clothes thou.......hehe.
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  • We spoke on the phone everyday. We used the opportunity to flirt once the important business was said.
  • We would daydream together and plan together.
  • He would burn CDs for me and send them.
  • I'd collect MP3s I knew or hoped he'd like and send them to him so he could burn CDs.
  • We'd send each other cards and presents.
  • We'd send pictures.
  • I'd send him an index card drenched in my perfume because it made him feel such loving and sentimental emotions for me and for us.

  On line we would:

  • We talked on IM and surfed the web together.I forgot to say that we loved going to funny or serious websites and just making fun of them.We'd listen to music samples together.
  • We'd sometimes go into a favorite chat room and exchange humor and wit and dazzle everyone, though we didn't do this one a lot.
  • We would get our own private chatroom and play music waves together and dance with each other, be silly, firtatious etc.
  • I'd send him special e-mails with unique backgrounds and graphics.
  • We'd send on line cards from unique sites.
  • We'd send links for sites and articles we thought the other might find interesting or helpful.
  • We'd send each other pictures on line.
  • I'd send him voice wavs of me singing or reading or just saying some special thing or some flirtation.

  We were apart for over a year.
• 

  LyinEyes

  Awwww Flyin', I am about to cry, ya'll were apart a whole year,,wow. Denny has only been home for a week at a time, going back off for two, coming in for three and so on.

  I am at least glad he is here in the US, and not that far away,,,,,,, I swear I can't imagine what the military families have to go thru,, and the dangers ya know. And I know that I will see his face at least every three weeks if not sooner, so I do count that a blessing.

  Those are so great ideas Flyin', we talked about getting him a laptop because he loves surfing the net, yahoo, pictures all of that,,,,,we want to set web cams up so he can see his kids too.

  Thanks so much guys, I really needed these suggestions and it gives me something fun to look forward to, something positive I can get busy doing, instead of grieving myself. I know it won't be like this forever, we will have plenty of time to catch up on things, so thanks again for making me feel more positive about our situation.

  Hugsssssss, and more hugsssss Dede
• 

  Ellie

  Some might say that you are in a very fortunate position but I know its not easy being seperated from the person you love.

  A lot of my friends are in the same postion as you, with their husbands working away and I too was away from my partner for 4 months.

  Its good to be able to talk on the phone and send letters and parcels but you also need to prepare yourself mentally for his absences.

  My friends have found that working or taking on college courses have helped them, try to go out more socially, just keep your mind off missing your husband.
• 

  stillajwexelder

  I travel quite a bit on business and it can be a real strain so I do feel for you
• 

  EvilForce

  High quality web cams. Especially the iSight (can use on Mac or PC). It's the next best thing to being there.
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  LyinEyes

  Yeah a very good web cam would be nice, when I get a new computer. Thanks for the suggestions,, I might get back with ya later Evil, on the web cam thing,,,,,,,hugs Dede