Having spent many hours of my childhood in the midst of watchtower indoctrination, I cam to find many many discrepancies. To me even as a young child they were GLARINGLY obvious. Remember the standard reply to any a unanswerable or difficult question posed ``only jehovah knows´´ , well that wasn´t good enough. All that study, all that time spent supposedly educating ones brain to bible ways and one would never be permitted to question beyond the bounds of what was consider respectful to ´jehovah´ i;e anything resonableand realistic.
I studied my own way out, Plath, Plato, Sexton, psychology, philosophy, biology , maths and girlie mags (for sex ed), I read anything and everything (during my teenage years) that wasn´t of the society. I was determined to keep afloat from this indoctrination. I recognised it early on, once one studies history´s use of propaganda and indoctrination for all sorts of motives, well you can not escape that knowledge. Yes knowledge, oh that word used by the the society and hence my parents who puppeted it, failing to acknowledge this was purely censored knowledge (and is that really knowledge at all????). Of corse there was a line and I crossed it, straight into satans hands , so they said. But I am grateful to them for their lies drove me to discover my own truth and even if I didn´t discover I wanted to know everything, every theory, every advancement. Venturing into a mad, crazy but vibrant world where things were no longer BLACK OR WHITE, RIGHT OR WRONG. A totally different way of seeing the world.
As we all know knowledge is power and in the society attempts to squash this are unrelently. Convinced I was falling to the devil my parents (along with elders, though I do not know this but seems pretty likely they were getting their advice from them) desperatly tried to pull me back with very extreme measures. Burning books, trying to shame me about the ´disgusting´things I was reading (the purity of sex, the most wonderful thing in the world and all they´ve got to say about it is ´disgusting´ religion!!!!!! all of them bloody hell). I was getting ill, being spirited and all like young people are (the most wonderful thing in the world the spirit, the sexual energy of youth) years of being bashed down took its toll. I´m afraid I´d always fought, just the way I am, couldn´t live a lie and I paid. So got to about 15, came to a head, internalised all my anger (much less dangerous). Started with my eating developing into a disorder, started self-harming in the form of cutting and smoked ridiculously!!! At the time also trying to go through with my education (a-levels in the U.K). I stopped attending meetings at 16 after many threats, emotionally anf financially I was all but cut off bar my food and bus fair to school.
(Aged 17)On a certain day after I´m pretty sure talks with elders, my parents delusioned and acting like robots told me I could stay in the house but they would be buring all my ´satanic material´ (ie educational books) if I continued to live in the house. I left with my possessions moving in with my grandparents, my grandmother not being a JW. Things got a little better but the shock hit me. Trying to shorten this story. left for college, got heavily into drugs (some of the most amazing and worst experiences of my life) got more thin, nearly admitted to hospital. Got help (still recommend a good joint though haha).
Sorry so now I get to my point. I was very certain that most of the literature relating to their very own interpreted bible and their bible itself was pretty off the mark. And not particularly being a big fan of organised religion, the concept of god a thing to be explained and of corse all the research done in theology departments around the world in which they will all support the notion the bible comprised many years after the death of a certain man called jesus, changed and used for mans own purpose (even popular mainstream books like davinci code are starting to go there) and even the relevance of this ancient book anyhow!!!!!
However I have not spent years in specifics researching, I just know what my instinct tells and I want to spend my life reading other subject matter (I think 16 years of listening to society guidance is enough to make a decision, my parents do not agree).
This is not enough to inform my younger brother (aged 20), who feels a strong loyalty to my parents, especially concerning the depression they experience concerning my being part of the ´world´. he has cut himself off from most reading and forms of info outside the watchtower (as you know a requiremnt of there´s). I just really want him to be informed, if he choses to go with the reilgion even though he knows there dates etc. are false ( this echoed from those spending time researching in libraries and of corse all my reading of the boards) and indoctrination and control rampant but so be it. I must go however as informed myself as I can be with backing, supporting evidence and much more and I have been saving this till I can do this. I am especially concerned due to extreme migraines he experiences, which really do seem related to his unhappiness (he never looks happy), I can sense his confusion.
I would greatly appreciate all advice and information regarding the above
my email is [email protected]
I would just like to add that I love my parents dearly and consider them to be puppets of the religion, they though misguided only wish for this earth to be beautiful and peaceful, its a shame that it is creating the direct opposite feeling within our family ( I also have a younger sister of 13, much harder and I need advice too, she is not amoured with the strict way of life, many hours taken up with meetings and other society activities)
Thanks for reading