There are days when it really bothers me!

Soledad

I was so angry and felt so lost and confused yesterday! I really really hate this cult! Why did my mother have to be involved with those people? I feel this constant dull ache inside of me, all the years lost all the alienation all the lonliness! It seems like the more time goes by the angrier I feel. Instead of getting better and moving on I feel stuck. WHY!!

Honesty

I really feel for you because I get the same feelings at times. The WTBTS has perfected the art of messing with people's minds even years after they get out of the cult. Just remember that there is no way the JW's can be serving God or Jesus with their twisted doctrines and treatment of the human race. They have been de-humanised by the WTBTS.

EvilForce

Anger is part of the emotional healing process. However if you feel "stuck" maybe you need to channel that anger into something. Anger usually is an emotion when we feel powerless. Can you do anything to effect change of some sort? If it feels like you are doing something you will feel empowered. Any help?

skyman

I hear you I go through it all the time. It bothers me that some day's I really hate the Bast### and I mean hate the Society and its hinchmen. So you are not alone.

greendawn

Reading your bio I get the impression that you had to live for a long time in an impenetrable society because your father was not a JW, that speaks volumes about the quality of the org your mother joined. Perhaps you still resent the losses in life quality directly inflicted on you by the WTS but life goes on and fortunately that's behind now.

Depending on how far you get with deprograming (deleting) the poisonous ideas that create blocks in your life you can heal and adjust to a fulfilling undisturbed existence.

Soledad

Thanks for your suggestions and replies. These days are rough for me. It's not just the JW thing that is bothering me. I'm in the middle of this separation thing with my husband maybe divorce or I don't know yet. As some of you may know he's been abusive to me in the past and I'm haunted by memories of the past.

Also my job sucks because the company has downsized a lot in the past month and the workload is overwhelming. Ontop of that the company is relocating to Tampa Florida so I don't even know if I will have a job by the end of this summer. I did get a job offer from an attorney who has an office right up the street from me, and it's precisely the kind of job I've always wanted--but I will have to take a drastic paycut. Less money coming in means the longer I will be in debt.

Then yesterday I see a very young JW girl street witnessing. She looked so miserable---it's been over 90 degrees outside for the past couple of days with really high humidity. So I guess all of these things together just kind of made me fly into a controlled rage and I'm feeling kind of low. Sorry about the ranting and I know there are so many of you out there who have even bigger problems (Mario comes to my mind and I can't ever forget about him). But I needed to get somethings off my chest. Thanks again.

Es

i know how you feel soledad, its taken me at least 3 years to stop feeling so much hate and anger. Its still there at times i get especially angry that i never had a choice to be a JW i was brought up as one.....but i love my life now and wouldnt change it for the world. We are here for you. es

LouBelle

Soledad - you need to work through your anger but don't let it constantly eat at you, it doesn't help in letting it go. Yes for years you were bound & led a more than unsatisfactory life, but you are out of it now.....You can move forward. You can be happy again. All those cliched sayings can happen, but you've got to want to let it go....and it doesn't happen over night. baby steps. Forgive / forget or as close as you can - find some joy in your life. If you want to play the piano, take lessons......you must make yourself happy.

There are days when it really bothers me!

Share this