The least likely of people are the ones who shun you...

by dh 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • dh
    dh

    As anyone who might remember will remember, I posted some time ago that my mother finally stopped going to JW meetings a couple of months back, after 30 years of being an anchor of her congregation... Now, ever since leaving there have been no elder visits (my dad is still an elder), and the C/O came around and my mom talked to him one on one, and that all seemed sorted. 'Sisters' from the congregation still come around and see my mom (but only 'ones' that we here 'friends'), and there were about 150 'we miss you' 'please come back' cards... but as much as most of the people in my mom's congregation are 'cut up' and 'sad at the loss of sister _ _ _ _ ', they still call around for a coffee, or meet my mom for a coffee and are OK about it... This in itself might seem strange, but not so, considering the congregation I grew up in, everyone would still talk to me since I am not df'd and they always ask how my brother and I are doing...

    Anyway, to cut a long story short, I asked my mom how her oldest friend was, a woman who was her friend when she first became a JW in the mid 70's... Now this is a person who always lived over 100 miles away from us, but would come and stay at our house every now and then, for assemblies etc, a person my mom had a very special friendship with... A very open minded and spiritual woman by all appearances, somewhat eccentric and a big fan of Dr. Seusse (which is where I get my love of Dr. Seusse from)... Well, it turns out this one person who you would never in a million years expect to pass a sweeping judgement, when my mom told her she would no longer be going to meetings, she said 'then I don't want to speak to you again' The End!

    Can you believe that garbage? You can be friends for a lifetime, and then snap, it's over and the illusion is broken... This ex-friend of my mom told my dad she was hoping to shock my mom... Funny after 30 years of knowing my mom, a person should know that she doesn't play games or take shit off anyone (excepe me, ha ha ha), and because of this person's stupid narrowmindedness, a friendship is over, or should I say, someone's mettle has been tested, and failed to pass.

    What's ironic is that this is a shunning from your closest and oldest friend, even when they do not have to shun you because you are not df'd. To my mind this is very ill.

    Funny how the cookie crumbles...

    Anyways, just wanted to share the experience... feel free to chime in if you have any similar ones.

  • seeitallclearlynow
    seeitallclearlynow

    Well dh, I think that is just terrible and so high minded of that sister. Cult thinking for sure. And they were so very warm to you. Like you said, hard to imagine who will ultimately do this kind of thing. (Isn't it this same sister, or am I mixed up?)

    I do recall a sister who sickened me over the same kind of thing. A girl who was studied with and taken under the collective wing of a certain family was summarily dropped, and worse, was told point blank by this high and mighty "sister": "Since you say you won't be going to any more meetings and you don't wish to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses, I don't care what happens to you. You can live or die, I don't care."

    This was just a young teenaged girl she was talking to. What a despicable attitude.

  • unbeliever
    unbeliever

    I use to be friends with this one girl and she ended the friendship when she found out I thought the witnesses were a cult. Now she was never very "spiritual". She had sex, smoked pot, etc. You name it she probably did it. She thought it was the end of the world and told me I was stupid for not believing in it. She was the last person I thought would shun me considering the lifestyle she led.

  • Es
    Es

    It really hurts when the friends closest to you hurt you, I can never get my head around it ive had it happen a few times and it hurts like hell, Im sorry for your mum :( es

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    My dub friends are few. If I lose them at some point I'll feel sorry for about five minutes. I have made friends outside and have (thankfully) no family inside.

    What gets me is this: how do they imagine they will be missed? It is not as though they were my friends when I was active. I experienced maybe not exactly shunning but something close to it. I always felt an arctic chill with many of them anyway. Conversations with certain people were like a trap where things could go wrong. If I went to a gathering I had to watch what I said. When I was in a car group I needed to put tape across my mouth.

    Many who have had better experiences than I did might have something to lose and I feel sorry for them.

    But as far as dubs thinking they will be missed - are they serious?

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    A slight correction:

    There are two old souls who I would have fond memories of.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit