After four years, still cleaning up the trash.

TemperateWarrior

I have a question that I'd like to get feedback for: How does a person get their finances in order after leaving the Dubs? I've left the B'organization with my family intact. Both my wife and I were born JWs. Since we were very active Witnesses, neither of us went to college. We've had to declare bankruptcy and are existing from paycheck to paycheck. Both of us would like to go to college but neither of us really have any idea of where to start, and we have precious little captial to work with. Not taking schooling seriously is one of the things I regret as a former JW. I could have done so much better if I had applied myself. As it was, I took some AP classes and pulled Bs with a little effort. If college was permissible at the time, I could have easily landed a scholarship. Now I'm 35 in a dead-end job with a wife and three kids to take care of. I love them so much and I would like to be able to provide for them to an extent so my wife wouldn't have to work. Or if she did work we would have some extra cash. (I may want to retire someday.) If you have any suggestions or experiences that may help, I would love to hear from you. -TW

rebel8

Hi

Well I did it, but I was a single non-parent. Financially, I just look for every angle on how to save $. Do a lot of researching things on the internet, re-evaluating all my bills every few months to see if there's a cheaper way to do things. For example, I just called the phone co. to see if there was a cheaper plan since the last time I talked to them, and there is. I'm always getting rid of things if I don't use them. Have sold a bunch of stuff on ebay.

I put myself through school by the same method. Found the cheapest apartment. Ate rice and other cheap food bought on sale or in bulk. $0 for entertainment so just did the free stuff on campus. Took as many AP exams as allowed....saved me over a semester's worth of tuition. Applied for every scholarship and grant out there and got plenty to cover tuition.

Same method for working through school. Carefully checked to see how I could make more $....worked off-shifts & holidays to get the extra pay.

Is there some type of alternative program you could take? By that, I mean an apprentice program or distance learning. Sometimes those things are more flexible so you don't have to take too much time off work. What subject are you hoping to study?

Crumpet

Welcome to the board TW! I know the feeling and have not yet found a solution really. I have very large debts but have taken a loan out to pay them and should be solvent by the time I'm in my mid-30's and then I can start working on buying a property. I don't want to be amazingly rich, just independent and have a place I can call my own to live in when I am old (preferably with a large wine cellar and a swimmingh pool in Spain).

Its very hard given you;ve got children to support - you can't take so many risks. However you do have lots of time compared to when you were a JW so use some of that time for enjoying your new found freedom and quality time with your kids and use the other half to pursue a course that can set you up in a good career. Here in the UK I know a few people who are working office jobs in managerial positions but trainigng to be plumbers and electricians in the evenings because you can charge and earn a fortune and be self employed thus more family time. Find what your area lacks and exploit that lack in the market by providing a first class service. Obviously you'll have to train first, but if you can find something you enjoy and have responsibility for it may be more profitable all round than the dead end job.

Whilst its a nice idea for you wife not to have to work - in this day and age very few women are that lucky.

Remember you are still young - its not too late to contribute to a state pension or save to buy property. For my parents dubs of the last 35 years who have no pensions and no home I really worry what will become of them.

Good luck and glad to have you on the board.

love2Bworldly

You should take community college classes--they are not as expensive. Maybe you could talk to a career counselor. As for your wife not working--that is pretty difficult these days unless you are making big bucks. You might think about maybe applying for a grant for a technical-type school in computers or something like that. If you have a family to support and are not making much money--you should be able to get some financial aid, but I'm talking about the US and I'm not sure where you are from.

I'm in a terrible financial bind myself right now, it's very frustrating. I wish you much luck!

TemperateWarrior

Those are good suggestions. Thank you. As for my wife not working, I know it's unrealistic to expect that. We did figure it up, though. With the type of work she is currently qualified for and factoring in daycare costs, we would be paying out money for her to get a job.

TooOpinionated

Welcome, Temperate Warrior!

I completely understand where you are coming from in determining if it makes sense financially for your wife to work. We also have 3 children, and even though I had a good job (by luck), I wasn't really bringing home anything after figuring in for 3 kids. So we worked it out so that I could quit and stay home, and the release of stress for both of us is incredible. We watch our finances, and are quite content. However, it took us a couple of years to be able to do that, and alot of planning.

No more pulling the kids out of bed at 5:30 am to take them to their sitter at 6 am so I could be to work at 6:30 am. (Really hated that in Wisconsin winters.) I myself would be up at 4 am. By the time I would pick them up and drive home, it would be after 5 pm. Kids crabby and tired, I'm exhausted and crabby, still with dinner, baths, etc. Ugh! Absolutely no quality time. Throw 2 parents on opposite rotating shifts, and it added up to IMMENSE stress. I completely understand why you and your wife want to do this. It is working for us-everyone is happier.

crazyblondeb

Growing up, like with everyone else-any college bound courses for higher education was forbidden. No one ever taught me what it meant to have good credit. Of course, sisters never handled anything as important as the finances. After I left the borg, a couple years later I became a single mom trying to get thru nursing school. I don't think I've ever done anything as hard as that. I got alot of student aid and scholarships. It'll be hard, but it'll be so worth it in the long run. And the satisfaction of sending a couple graduation announcements to JW family was priceless!!!

shelley

proplog2

Get off of this board. Get back to school right away. Create a beach-head of change -even if you can only afford one class. Time flies. You will eventually get your degree.

Whiskeyjack

Check out trades like plumbing. You might find a small firm willing to take somebody a little older but more responsible and motivated (you just need to sell yourself aong with a little luck in timing). You can get a great income in trades without the huge investment of University or colleges. One of my sibs did this and he makes more than us "smart" ones who've been downsized and starting over (Commerce and IT grads).

W.

potleg

Get a copy of "The Total Money Makover" - a proven plan for financial fitness by Dave Ramsey and check out his web site which I believe is daveramsey.com This fellows plan is tough but it works ...I'm working through it myself. Many of us that should have been more prepared financially for the future are not so your'e not alone. Good luck and check this out.

After four years, still cleaning up the trash.

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