my girfriend and i have been together for a year and a half. and shes a jw, and im not. she didnt tell me that she was a jw till 1 year of being with her. and told me that we have to breakup.6 months later were still together and see eachother very often. she has been disfellowshiped, but she wants to get back in. i love her and she says that she loves me. but her being disfellowshiped has sadded her mother. and that she misses her friends. she been disfellowshiped for about 2 months now. her father is ok wit h me, but thats becuase he not a jw. the story she told me was, when her mother gave birth to her she wasnt a jw and later converted. wish makes me think alot, cant i still be with her? just as her mother is still with her dad?
cant i still be with her? just like her parents are?
by Cimoo 8 Replies latest jw friends
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tijkmo
yes ...no law against you being with her...but you will have to marry her...and you should do it while she is still disfellowshipped
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Honesty
yes ...no law against you being with her...but you will have to marry her...and you should do it while she is still disfellowshipped
Did Jesus disfellowship anyone? The Jehovah's Witnesses are a cult of magnificent proportions. Don't believe it? Research the WatchTower Bible and Tract Society and the Jehovah's Witnesses on the internet. Better yet, compare their doctrines and teachings against the bible. One of them is a fraud. Get married to her and see how miserable your life will become should she ever return to the Kingdom Hall and be reinstated into the cult. There are hundreds of people on this board who have been married to JW's. Some are still married to JW's. Ask them what being married to a JW is really like. You may be concerned with their answers. I wish you well in your search. Peace and security to you, Honesty - former JW cult member
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Billygoat
Love is a strong emotion to overcome. But I highly recommend you research this religion before you get involved with her anymore. This religion will be like a "mistress" to her. Her loyalty will not always be with you, but with the religion. And she'll change her mind a million times because she loves it just as much, if not more, than you. She'll be torn and in the meantime, she'll tear you up too.
Be careful. This religion can cause their members to act really weird.
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NeonMadman
If you do marry her and she gets reinstated, you should be aware that the #1 focus of her life will be to get you into the cult too. If you don't convert, the marriage will never work out, no matter how much you love each other now. If you do convert, every aspect of your life will be under the control of this group. You will be cut off from previous friends and activities, and will be expected to abandon career and educational aspirations to give total devotion to the group. Keep reading on this site, and you will see how negatively people's lives have been impacted by this cult. And please don't deceive yourself - you will not have a successful relationship with this woman if she is a believing JW and you are not. The group pressures are simply too great. If it has worked for her parents, that's good - but they are the tiny exception, not the rule.
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jomac
Send an email to me at [email protected] and I have some things I can email back to you which helps people to exit the Watchtower organization over JWs that teaches them and are also helpful for those who have exited to not return to it. Ditto for other readers in a similar bind.
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georgefoster
It's very difficult to be married to a jw if you're not. Problems I've had with my wife: she only wants to hang out with other jws; she devotes a tremendous amount of time to the organization and doesn't take care of household chores; she is very morally uptight about movies, sex, language, etc.; she is training the children to be jws, and everybody questions me because "I don't love Jehovah". Basically, it sucks.
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jimakazi
I was an active [although no longer committed JW] when I met my WORLDLY wife to be. I came under intesnse pressure that she should either became a JW or I should break off my engagement. I refused so we had a civil wedding [she's Catholic and I wasn't going to convert that way] and stopped going to any JW meeting etc [the big fade]. My Dad was reprimanded fro attending our wedding so that pretty much finsihed it for me. 18 years later my parents still don't really accept I'm nop longer one of them, and I have to regularly remind them to not preach to my wife, me, or our kids. However I don't want to be a witness so this works OK - their is tension at time though - no Nana and gradpa at birthdays, xmas etc.
If your girlfirend can accept there is a life beyound the JW's [and if she is at all open minded checking out some of the facts on JWfacts.com may assist make her mind up] then it may be worth keeping the relationship going.
However if she wants back in then you may be best to look elsewhere. They may demand she no longer associate with you to prove she has changed her eveil ways, and if you were to marry her 1st, and she went back it would be easier but you would always be the "opposed husband" - JW speak for a non JW husband. Also if and when you had kids there would be further tension and issues, do you want them brought up as JW's, she would have to raise them as JW's in spite of any wishes, you, the opposed husband may have. This could even be grounds for a separation if you insisted they were not to attend meeting, preach door to door etc.
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greendawn
The jws are a cult and they mess up people's minds with extremist ideas and deceptive reasonings. It will be great if she gets over the wish to go back to them.