Construct a JW Talk

by Nosferatu 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    Okay, here's something fun! As with those "continue the story" threads, let's continue a JW Talk. It doesn't have to be serious. Feel free to throw in Apostate tidbits, make fun of how JWs act in general, and don't forget to throw in a scripture once in a while to prevent your audience from falling asleep! Oh yeah, you don't have to stick to the subject either!

    I'll start.

    Title: How Will You Cope in Times of Distress?

    When you were a child, were you ever given a brand new, shiny penny? Didn't you admire how new it was and how it shone in the light? Did you put it away somewhere safe, hoping that some day it might be something to be valued? But, after the passing of time, the penny starts to get dull and corroded. It turns from it's natural shiny color into a dull brown....

  • RichieRich
    RichieRich

    It turns from it's natural shiny color into a dull brown....

    matte finish. Just like this penny, our spirituality used to appear to us as shiny, and new. Now, after years of repression, and abuse, some spiritually weak friends are treating their spirituality like its value has diminished.

    However, we as true Christians want to....

  • Scully
    Scully
    When you were a child, were you ever given a brand new, shiny penny? Didn't you admire how new it was and how it shone in the light? Did you put it away somewhere safe, hoping that some day it might be something to be valued? But, after the passing of time, the penny starts to get dull and corroded. It turns from it's natural shiny color into a dull brown....

    That's how it sometimes is with The Truth™. When we first learn of Jehovah's Promises™, they are new to us, exciting, and highly valued. Have we, over time, allowed the Message of Truth™ to become dull and corroded in our hearts and minds?

  • nicolaou
    nicolaou

    However, we as true Christians want to....

    have a wild party and get nekkid! with lots of horny apostobabes!!!

    [shame mode]

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    The GB has decided to abdicate from their position as kings of dubdom and to allow power to be shared democratically with a large but as yet unspecified number of spiritually mature individuals.

    They also decided to end the shunning policy, allow blood transfusions and make preaching work totally voluntary. They accepted to pay billions of dollars in compensations to the relatives of those that died of their no blood policy and those that committed suicide due to the emotional cruelty inflicted on them by the GB.

  • love2Bworldly
    love2Bworldly

    As our light continues to shine brighter and brighter as the day dawns, we will now be using our Christian-trained conscience in such matters as to celebrating holidays, hanging windchimes, sexual relations between married persons, and what movies a person chooses to watch.

    However the elders may still continue to discipline the congregation by disfellowshipping any sisters who continue to share in the field service ministry without the wearing of pantyhose, or brothers who are involved in the full-time preaching work who actually use Bibles instead of Watchtowers.

    And now onto our Watchtower study....

  • Evanescence
    Evanescence
    And now onto our Watchtower study....

    Imagine living forever in paradise with your friends and family!

    You would feel safe at night and there will be no murders wouldn't that be great? soon all our suffering will end.

    As god said in revelation chapter 21 3-5 With that I heard a loud voice from the throne say: “Look! The tent of God is with mankind, and he will reside with them, and they will be his peoples. And God himself will be with them. 4 And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”

    5 And the One seated on the throne said: “Look! I am making all things new.” Also, he says: “Write, because these words are faithful and true.”

    (NWT bible) (why does this scripture remind me of my immortal by evanescence? when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears when you scream I'd fight away all of your fears...)

    The watchtower teaches that one day Jehovah will destroy all evil and we will live together on a paradise earth!!!!

    ............................

    Evanescence *how did I go at impersinating a jw???? *

    http://www.watchtower.org/library/pr/index.htm?article=article_09.htm

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    The watchtower teaches that one day Jehovah will destroy all evil and we will live together on a paradise earth!!!!

    I encourage you to close your eyes for a minute. Picture the earth the way Jehovah meant for it to be, can you see yourself there, radiant, perfect health. You walk over to your pet Lion and play with him for a bit. Then you someone call your name in the distance, you look up! And you see your long last grandfather running over to you, youthful and full of joy.

    Oh brothers...you can open your eyes now......how glorious that day will be. Note what you have to do in order to be in that paradise. Let us consider paragraph 4.

  • crazyblondeb
    crazyblondeb

    "choking, coughing, spewing soda on screen"

    ROFLOL, "choking......need heimlick ......"

    shelley

  • Evanescence
    Evanescence
    You walk over to your pet Lion and play with him for a bit.

    lol a Jehovah's witness went up to one of my friends and said "On paradise earth lions will eat straw instead of humans!!"

    Evanescence

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