THE BATTLE OF THE BRICK BARREL

by tijkmo 7 Replies latest social humour

• 

  tijkmo

  i got this story by email this morning and it triggered a memory..so i looked it up and lo..i found it in the awake..22 november 1970

  seems like its an urban legend adapted to every country..(bit like the flood then..sic)

  still funny though

  The

  Battle of the Brick Barrel

  • Do you have days when everything seems to go wrong? Well, when you read what happened some years ago to a man in Barbados perhaps your problems will not seem so bad after all. His letter to his employers explained what happened when he went to repair a building damaged by a hurricane:

  "I rigged up a beam with a pulley at the top of the building and hoisted up a couple of barrels full of bricks. When I had fixed the building, there was a lot of bricks left over. I hoisted the barrel back up again and secured the line at the bottom, and then went up and filled the barrel with extra bricks. Then I went to the bottom and cast off the line. Unfortunately, the barrel of bricks was heavier than I was and before I knew what was happening the barrel started down, jerking me off the ground. I decided to hang on and halfway up I met the barrel coming down and received a severe blow on the shoulder. I then continued to the top, banging my head against the beam and getting my finger jammed in the pulley. When the barrel hit the ground it bursted its bottom, allowing all the bricks to spill out. I was now heavier than the barrel and so started down again at high speed. Halfway down, I met the barrel coming up and received severe injuries to my shins. When I hit the ground I landed on the bricks, getting several painful cuts from the sharp edges. At this point I must have lost my presence of mind, because I let go the line. The barrel then came down giving me another heavy blow on the head and putting me in the hospital. I respectfully request sick leave."
• 

  PaulJ

  He's an idiot, I'd sack him, forget about sick leave.

  Paul of the Ming the Merciless Class
• 

  coffee_black

  I remember that story told in a service meeting. Everyone was in stitches!

  Coffee
• 

  AK - Jeff

  This is the way I got it - Urban Legend for sure.

  DearSir: I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of anew six story building. When I completed my work, found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.

  Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 175 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

  In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed. T his explained for the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

  Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain.

  At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

  I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

  I hope this answers your inquiry.
• 

  Fe2O3Girl

  Gerard Hoffnung used this story in his speech to the Oxford Union. Hoffnung died in 1959, so the story is at least that old. I wonder where it came from? Was it devised by the very clever and funny Gerard Hoffnung?

  http://www.monologues.co.uk/004/Bricklayers_Story.htm

  More about Hoffnung:

  http://www.musicweb.uk.net/hoffnung/index.htm
• 

  funkyderek

  The history of this urban legend can be found here: http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/bricks.asp
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  tijkmo

  my dad bought the gerard hofnung lp as a result of reading it in the awake...he used to try to do it as his party peice...he might have been quite good..i dont know - i was too busy being embarrassed
• 

  Englishman

  Sounds just like a coyote on the telly..

  

  Englishman.