My New Religion...

by undercover 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • undercover
    undercover

    I posted this on another thread...but I think it needs its own thread so we can all add our own ideas on how to make this work...

    Ya know, I'm gonna start an Internet religion.

    I'm gonna claim to be God's one true messenger and since the world is going online, the Lord has revealed to me that the truth can be found only on my website.

    However, maintaining a website isn't free...writing down the visions from the Lord takes time and effort, so I'm gonna have to ask people to donate to my website. Credit Cards, Checks, PayPal will all be accepted.

    Those who feel that they have a special calling can actually join my cyber church by promising monthly donations of certain amounts. This will allow them to access certain parts of the site reserved solely for the "chosen". We'll even have a chat room where the lucky chosen ones can talk with the "cyberdonian messenger" when I feel like popping in with new visions from the Lord.

    It'll be slow at first, I know, but when those seeking the true religion find my site, they will feel the holy spirit move them to join and send in their donations. We will then flourish and become a reckoning in the spiritual world. Plus my bank account will flourish. Because that's what its all about.. making some cash with as little work as possible. And it's all tax deductible.

    Yep...I think that would be a great new career.

  • minimus
    minimus

    Can I be the treasurer?

  • undercover
    undercover

    as long as you're name isn't Judas

  • Carol
    Carol

    It's been done! But I might be interested if I can have a position on the Board and you don't ask to be buried in a toga!

  • Big Dog
    Big Dog

    I remember when Father Guido Sarducci was going to start the People's Catholic Church, everyone got to be Pope. Can I be the Pope?

  • undercover
    undercover

    Ya'll are as greedy as I am.... LOL

    That's good...it takes a driving personality to make this church work. God doesn't need slackers.

    Keep the faith brothers and sisters...and you're checkbook handy.

  • M.J.
    M.J.

    Power to the people, man.

    The only reason the kook CT Russell got the word out was cause he was wealthy enough to acquire a printing operation in his day.

    Nowdays he'd be just another kook with a website lost in a sea of kooks with a website. (No offense, U/C)

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    You could make many levels in your website, the higher levels reserved for those who pay more, are more sycophantic. To the higher ones, you could give the revelations w less bs in them.

    S

  • jschwehm
    jschwehm

    Are you gonna write science fiction novels?

    Jeff S.

    www.catholicxjw.com

  • undercover
    undercover
    Are you gonna write science fiction novels

    Naw...that's already been done...plus that religion is kooky...our religion will be the one true religion.

    How do I know? Because the Lord God Dollar came to me in a vision and said, "thou must shake down the brethren and they will be grateful. They will gladly give their material possesions to come within the sight of the Lord. Go, therefore, and make many bank accounts to hide thy earnings from the IRS and the then the end of poverty will come."

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit